Not only is she sharing a bit about her music, she's sharing her faith (Judaism) and how it helped her through the terrible loss of her sister. I hope you all enjoy.
In late May 2011, on a women's spiritual retreat I was encouraged to sing my song, “Adonai Tzuri V’Goali” As the music flowed, the group began to sing along and get excited. One of my fellow musicians, Robbi Sherwin, from the group Sababa, was recording it on her iPhone. After we were done, she sent it to Scott Leader (also from Sababa), whose response was "Who sang that and why isn't it recorded yet?"
Scott, Robbi, Larry Bach (head rabbi and incredible musician at Temple Mount Sinai) and I recorded my “baby” over the next two weeks and entered it in the New Voices young songwriter competition sponsored by NewCAJE. Imagine my surprise when an email arrived saying “YOU WON!”
Not only had it won but it was now included on a CD with nine other new up-and-coming talents. The email also included an invitation to perform in-person at the NewCAJE conference in North Carolina in August, 2011.
At the conference, after a performance of a new art form made up of live music and improvisational story-telling, the six performers decided to jump into unknown waters and we founded an artists' collective called NuRootz. I discovered my inner musician and began writing more songs on the plane home from the conference; enough for an album!
With new-found confidence and excitement, I began planning an album and a brand-new career. That's when tragedy struck my family. My sister, Lauren, committed suicide.
Lauren struggled with mental illness for years but I didn't know how difficult her struggle was. Laying there in the hospital, on life support, my parents and I struggled to sing Debbie Friedman’s "Mi Shebeirach." I sang her my song - the one that seemed to wake everyone up at the conference - praying that it would do the same for Lauren.
It wasn’t to be. After five days, we learned that she would never wake again and we decided to let her rest. She’s buried in Rhode Island among our family she loved so much.
Ever since then, as I've been putting the pieces of my life back together, I have found that music is helping me heal in so many ways. Healing starts when I write it down. It continues as I sing it to someone, and the greatest gift is when even one person says, "Your words helped me heal, too."
For a year, I’ve been fumbling through the grief and pain and sadness that her loss shook loose. I’ve been following the traditional Jewish path of mourning, a week of shiva followed by a month of saying the Mourner’s prayer, followed by a year of less-intense mourning. After 11 months, my sister’s tombstone was unveiled (in early August 2012) and on September 8, I’ll observe the first yarhzeit, or yearly commemoration of her death. This involves lighting a special candle that will burn for 24 hours in her memory and going to synagogue to say the Mourner’s prayer. After that, I’m only obligated to say the prayer at designated times throughout the year, on festivals and yearly on her yahrzeit for the rest of my life.
Scott, Robbi, Larry Bach (head rabbi and incredible musician at Temple Mount Sinai) and I recorded my “baby” over the next two weeks and entered it in the New Voices young songwriter competition sponsored by NewCAJE. Imagine my surprise when an email arrived saying “YOU WON!”
Not only had it won but it was now included on a CD with nine other new up-and-coming talents. The email also included an invitation to perform in-person at the NewCAJE conference in North Carolina in August, 2011.
At the conference, after a performance of a new art form made up of live music and improvisational story-telling, the six performers decided to jump into unknown waters and we founded an artists' collective called NuRootz. I discovered my inner musician and began writing more songs on the plane home from the conference; enough for an album!
With new-found confidence and excitement, I began planning an album and a brand-new career. That's when tragedy struck my family. My sister, Lauren, committed suicide.
Lauren struggled with mental illness for years but I didn't know how difficult her struggle was. Laying there in the hospital, on life support, my parents and I struggled to sing Debbie Friedman’s "Mi Shebeirach." I sang her my song - the one that seemed to wake everyone up at the conference - praying that it would do the same for Lauren.
It wasn’t to be. After five days, we learned that she would never wake again and we decided to let her rest. She’s buried in Rhode Island among our family she loved so much.
Ever since then, as I've been putting the pieces of my life back together, I have found that music is helping me heal in so many ways. Healing starts when I write it down. It continues as I sing it to someone, and the greatest gift is when even one person says, "Your words helped me heal, too."
For a year, I’ve been fumbling through the grief and pain and sadness that her loss shook loose. I’ve been following the traditional Jewish path of mourning, a week of shiva followed by a month of saying the Mourner’s prayer, followed by a year of less-intense mourning. After 11 months, my sister’s tombstone was unveiled (in early August 2012) and on September 8, I’ll observe the first yarhzeit, or yearly commemoration of her death. This involves lighting a special candle that will burn for 24 hours in her memory and going to synagogue to say the Mourner’s prayer. After that, I’m only obligated to say the prayer at designated times throughout the year, on festivals and yearly on her yahrzeit for the rest of my life.
What I find most troubling are all the questions left behind for those of us still alive – why? Couldn’t we have done more? Hadn’t we done enough? Why wasn’t I a better sister? More intuitive? But those are questions that lead down a dark path, and I’ve decided to leave them alone for a while. Maybe I’ll be strong enough to face them someday, but that day isn’t today.
So now I have a CD. The music I recorded has so much of my sister’s life embedded within, so much of her spirit and warmth, I had to name the album for her. She is our Dragonfly – in Hebrew, Shapirit. Every time I see one, it brings me peace. I hope my music can bring you peace as well.
Love,
3 comments:
Thank you so much for inviting me to share my story with even more people! I am honored and lucky to have you in my life.
Love! {Erica}
How moving! I miss seeing Alison on our board! I can't imagine how she feels, but music can definitely move your soul and put your heart at ease for awhile. Suicide is devastating. I hope her music continues to grow!
Post a Comment