You know you haven't blogged in a while when you go to your blogger page and it makes you sign in. I didn't even remember the password and almost got locked out. I had set that for "remember me"...apparently Blogger is a bit senile.
I have not had time to blog at all. I am not trying to make excuses, but you work a full-time job, work on your Masters full-time, and be a wife and mother and tell me when there is blogging time. Seriously, someone tell me, because I miss this. The sound of my fingers flying over the keys as I rage out over the idiots of the world is more peaceful than you can possibly imagine, but I can't do it instead of being with my family. However I have carved out a bit of time for myself (and all of you adoring fans) this Sunday evening. Chores are done, school work is done, Little Bug is needing alone time with her iPad, and Hubby is at work. AND I NEED TO RAGE.
We all know what is happening in Israel and Gaza right? Hamas terrorist scum is using women and children as shields and firing on Israel because they want to achieve their ultimate goal of death to all Jews. If you didn't know, now you do. If you disagree, kick rocks because this is not the blog where I eloquently explain why Israel is not the bully of the Middle East. I can and have and probably will on here soon, but not today. Today I do what I do best. Today I ruin someone's life.
This someone is truly deserving. I haven't come across someone as deserving since my cunt faced neighbor decided to slut shame teenage girls. I let her be because she dug her own grave and her wickedness was soon shown to everyone. I didn't have to dirty my hands because hers were fucking filthy already. But this someone, well he is a special kind of candidate. He is the kind that is woefully ignorant to world events but thinks himself a genius because he reads the headlines. He also is the kind who brags about his job and doesn't realize that what he says constitutes OPSEC violations and could cause serious security risks.
His name is Edwin Peguero and he is a scared little man. He should be. Though he has since blocked me and removed his comments from the post where this went down, sceenshots last forever. Screenshots that I have forwarded to his employer and the Israeli Consulate in New York. I have spoken with a representative from his employer and after we got past her righteous indignation as a Jew, she took my contact information and had me email her directly the screenshots of his comments.
I know there is a part of me who should feel bad for him. He is an Air Force vet and English is apparently his second language. Maybe he genuinely doesn't understand what he posted and why it is ignorant garbage that leads to anti-Semitic filth. Maybe he thought bringing up his military service and name dropping who he works for now and what he does for a living would calm the little white girl down. Obviously I am just a woman who did not recognize that the men were speaking. But as he stated that I didn't know him more than once adding P.S.'s about his job that were an OPSEC don't poster waiting to happen, I realized there will be no feeling bad for him. There will only be soul crushing and livelihood killing.
He doesn't know who I AM. He doesn't know that I don't skim headlines to form an opinion, I read everything. And I remember everything I read. I am highly educated. I am not going to quite down. I served in the same branch of service as he did, except I don't use my service as a trump card. I take very little personally but this, this I take personally. When you side with Hamas, when you condemn Israel's right to defend itself, you are basically saying you agree with Hamas. You are supporting the eradication of the Jewish people. BECAUSE YOU FUCKING IDIOT THAT IS WHAT HAMAS WANTS. Eat a dick. Suck some terrorist asshole. Oh, and start looking for work in another field, possibly another city, because you popped off at the mouth to the wrong mother fucking bitch.
*Drops Mic*
The older I get, the more it upsets me when women or girls treat each other like shit. Probably because when I was younger I treated other girls and women like shit. I've been a bad friend, a frenemy, a backstabber, jealous, and cruel and any one of you gals who say you haven't is full of it. And I don't even have the luxury of saying it was as a teenager because frankly, I spent the better part of my early twenties being a this way. My bet is that most of us have.
I am so embarrassed at how I behaved towards other women that I have written, deleted, rewritten, deleted and now REwritten this blog this morning alone. Seeing my behavior written out makes it undeniable. It seems unforgivable, though I have been lucky enough that many of them have forgiven me (and vice versa). And frankly, my pride and embarrassment is going to prevent me from writing them all down in this version. I may share them later, but I think they will distract you all from my point.
Yes, I do have one. I am not here just to shame all of us ladies into tears. I am a mother to a daughter. Read that again. As a mother to a daughter, I am even more aware of the vile, vicious things we ladies do to one another. I fear every single day that some girl who wasn't loved enough or hates herself is going to take that out on my girl; my girl who thinks drag queens and old people are magical. My girl who apologizes to her toys for not playing with them enough. My girl who loves everyone and sympathizes with the world. My smart, kind, beautiful girl who doesn't know what it is like to feel unloved or look in the mirror and hate everything about yourself. Because let's face it, we hurt other girls and women because we ourselves are hurting.
We've moved to the middle of nowhere as I have previously mentioned and it has been an eye-opening experience for me. It is in a small-town that you really see the damage that girl on girl crime causes. I know it is bad everywhere, but in larger cities you can avoid someone if you don't like them. You aren't forced to see them every day, to pretend like you like them. So instead of developing your relationships with a group of girls you chose, you talk shit about the ones that are forced upon you. What's worse is that they hate each other because they're taught to do it. Their mothers are too busy gossiping about other women AND teenage girls that they don't see their daughters behaving the same way they do.
I don't want that for my Little Bug, but I don't want that for any girl. I want to live in a world (or hell, I'd take just my town) that isn't filled with hateful women tearing each other down behind each others backs and smiling sweetly to each others faces. I want to live in a world where girls don't slut shame each other and then go and sleep with the same guy. I want to live in a world where women don't condemn each other for making a choice that is different than their own. I want to know that my girlfriend only says things to my face and doesn't share what I have confided in her with the cool girls to get ahead. Yeah...the cool girls still exist at this age except at this age you can tell they are just as damaged and self-loathing as you used to be.
This probably isn't FBG comeback you all waited so patiently for, but I can't get it off of my mind and isn't that what my blog is for? I know I'm not THAT old, but being a mother changes your whole perspective. Being good friends with other women does that too. I look at these girls who desperately want to be better people than they have been raised to be and I feel so sad and yet so hopeful for them. Because at least they know it's wrong and knowing it's wrong is the first step to being better.
Don't get it twisted. I'm not having some world shaking epiphany. My snark is still alive and well and will be aimed at all parties who are deserving, male and female. That doesn't mean I can't be a better FRIEND and in turn help others be better friends. I'm not saying it'll even work, but who knows what'll happen if I reach one girl? Maybe she'll reach another. And then that one reaches another. Fingers crossed right?
I am so embarrassed at how I behaved towards other women that I have written, deleted, rewritten, deleted and now REwritten this blog this morning alone. Seeing my behavior written out makes it undeniable. It seems unforgivable, though I have been lucky enough that many of them have forgiven me (and vice versa). And frankly, my pride and embarrassment is going to prevent me from writing them all down in this version. I may share them later, but I think they will distract you all from my point.
Yes, I do have one. I am not here just to shame all of us ladies into tears. I am a mother to a daughter. Read that again. As a mother to a daughter, I am even more aware of the vile, vicious things we ladies do to one another. I fear every single day that some girl who wasn't loved enough or hates herself is going to take that out on my girl; my girl who thinks drag queens and old people are magical. My girl who apologizes to her toys for not playing with them enough. My girl who loves everyone and sympathizes with the world. My smart, kind, beautiful girl who doesn't know what it is like to feel unloved or look in the mirror and hate everything about yourself. Because let's face it, we hurt other girls and women because we ourselves are hurting.
We've moved to the middle of nowhere as I have previously mentioned and it has been an eye-opening experience for me. It is in a small-town that you really see the damage that girl on girl crime causes. I know it is bad everywhere, but in larger cities you can avoid someone if you don't like them. You aren't forced to see them every day, to pretend like you like them. So instead of developing your relationships with a group of girls you chose, you talk shit about the ones that are forced upon you. What's worse is that they hate each other because they're taught to do it. Their mothers are too busy gossiping about other women AND teenage girls that they don't see their daughters behaving the same way they do.
I don't want that for my Little Bug, but I don't want that for any girl. I want to live in a world (or hell, I'd take just my town) that isn't filled with hateful women tearing each other down behind each others backs and smiling sweetly to each others faces. I want to live in a world where girls don't slut shame each other and then go and sleep with the same guy. I want to live in a world where women don't condemn each other for making a choice that is different than their own. I want to know that my girlfriend only says things to my face and doesn't share what I have confided in her with the cool girls to get ahead. Yeah...the cool girls still exist at this age except at this age you can tell they are just as damaged and self-loathing as you used to be.
This probably isn't FBG comeback you all waited so patiently for, but I can't get it off of my mind and isn't that what my blog is for? I know I'm not THAT old, but being a mother changes your whole perspective. Being good friends with other women does that too. I look at these girls who desperately want to be better people than they have been raised to be and I feel so sad and yet so hopeful for them. Because at least they know it's wrong and knowing it's wrong is the first step to being better.
Don't get it twisted. I'm not having some world shaking epiphany. My snark is still alive and well and will be aimed at all parties who are deserving, male and female. That doesn't mean I can't be a better FRIEND and in turn help others be better friends. I'm not saying it'll even work, but who knows what'll happen if I reach one girl? Maybe she'll reach another. And then that one reaches another. Fingers crossed right?
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