For those of you who do not know, "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" i the latest single by Miss Swift. It will be on her new album Red which will be released on October 22nd of this year. I, undoubtedly, will be buying the album, just like I bought the single.
Here's the thing, it's not great. It's not country. It sounds like a bitter teenage girl wrote it. And mostly, it's catchy as all get out. I've listened to it more than 5 times since yesterday's download, and while that is far from the thousands of times the devoted 13-year-old girls of the Taylor Nation have rocked out to it, it feels like too much for a woman in here late 20's. When I was forced to pay for it instead of stream it on Spotify, I should have taken it as a sign that my Taylor Swift enjoyment days had come to an end.
She isn't the best singer to begin with and her lyrics seem to forever be stuck at the pubescent love/heartbreak stage. She falls for dudes 30 seconds after dating them and then publicly slams them in interviews because they weren't as into her as she was into them. I mean, for a girl who claims to have been bullied, she sure dishes out her fair share of abuse. Have you heard "Better Than Revenge" on her last album? It's allegedly about the girl who stole Joe Jonas from her. Here's an excerpt:
She's not a saint and she's not what you think.
She's an actress.
But she's better known for the things that she does on a mattress.
So she's a whore because your boyfriend broke up with you for her? Seriously, women who blame the woman piss me off. From what I've read, the digs she takes at the girl, Camilla Belle, are hardly subtle. She references that she went to prep school but that won't give her dignity. She even uses lyrics from the song Jonas wrote about Belle. My favorite line is when she says "She thinks I'm psycho cause I like to rhyme her name with things." Well, maybe she's right. It's one thing to write "You Oughta Know" and leave everyone guessing, it's a whole other to blast the shit out of this girl. Smartly, Swift didn't release the song as a single. Something tells me she would have lost a few fans due to her cattiness.
And John Mayer? Surely she had to have known he was too much for her. Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson couldn't change him, what made her think she had a shot. She wrote 3 songs about him on her last album. THREE! "Dear John" was the worst of them. She paints him as this older man who just callously tossed her aside when he was through with her. And again, a song that wasn't close to subtle. Not that John Mayer deserves any sympathy from the females of the world, but way to kick a man when he's already down.
I recently read that she's dating 18-year-old Connor Kennedy of those Kennedy's. She's 21 or 22 right? Can we say dating a younger guy because he isn't experienced enough to know how crazy you are? She even bought a $4.9 million house across the street from, well, his parent's house. I've seen Fatal Attraction and Single White Female enough times to know that he needs to hide his bunny rabbits and change the locks.
I know people who love T-Swizzle. They also read this blog and will probably lecture me about her greatness, but it matter not. I won't be deleting her albums from my iTunes library (they're stored in the cloud so it's pointless) and I will no doubt sing along the next time the "Shuffle All" button sends one my way. It doesn't make her less of a twat. And it doesn't make her less of an angsty Avrile Levigne wannabe. She can win Grammy upon Grammy and date ridiculously good-looking men to the cows come home. It doesn't mean she doesn't pander to the teenage girl market better than a boy band.
Do I sound like a judgey bitch? I hope so, it' what I'm good at. I'll leave you with this gem of a song that will now replace "Call Me Maybe" in the "stuck in my head" slot.
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