Friday, January 27, 2012

Education Blues

Hmmm, maybe it should be called Lack of Education Blues. Either way, I have them bad. Gone are the days when I could count on my team members to at least do SOME portion of their work correctly. Long past are the hours when I would come to class and WANT to have a conversation with them. Forever forgotten are the...okay, too much. I gotta learn to stop a bit sooner. Let's just say this, if I ever doubt my decision to do all the group work myself and let my teammates skate again, I want to be smacked upside my motha fuckin head with a motha fuckin chair.

We have this big scrapbook-like presentation due for week 5. Each week, a different part of it is due and it's all about ethical decisions and team work and group ideas and all the shit that gets in the way of me getting an A. For the first part, I was able to do the team assignment myself, I merely emailed Blond Sonya and Joe Cool what they needed to post to pass off as their own work. Same for the second part. Easy peasy lemon squeezey. But for week 3 there was no such luck. This weeks portion required actual opinions from each member. Considering I am probably the only conservative in the class, it would be pretty fucking obvious if our group submitted identical answers. Could I have faked their answers to sound liberal and stupid (two separate qualities in this case)? I could have tried but that level of mental retardation hasn't been attempted since Simple Jack.

After dividing up the discussion questions that we have EVERY WEEK that have NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FINAL PROJECT....AND THAT WE HAVE EVERY WEEK, I explained that each member needed to answer two, just TWO questions about EACH EXAMPLE for a total of 24 questions and answers. It isn't complicated math. It is more basic than basic math. There are twelve examples on ethics. Answer questions 1 & 2 about each example. I explained this more times than their should be answers. No exaggeration. But what happened? I got an email from Blond Sonya with 8 answers. Two answers for one of our good samaritan examples, two for one of our vigilante examples, one for two (not a typo) of our civil disobedience examples, and finally, three answers to questions that I am unable to locate anywhere.

Beside the obvious fact that the answers were spelled wrong, not formatted, and completely nonfactual, I ignored all of this and emailed her to let her know that she needed to once again answer questions 1 & 2 for each of the 12 examples. She texted me within a few seconds of the email being sent and said "That's what I did. I answered for my examples that you did and I posted." I explained to her that those were just her portion and that she needed to comment on all of the examples that were put together in the group forum. After about ten minutes of radio silence, she sends back a text that says "So like all the examples?" Yes bitch, all the examples. Almost an hour later I get another unformatted email of garbage but I made due. You all would be proud of me. I left just enough of her opinion to make her seem like the uneducated, uncultured, idiota she is. Oh the joy of editing.

Joe Cool was my biggest disappointment I must say. He waited until Wednesday to even start his shit and then proceeded to call me umpteen times to ask the same question. What question, you ask? "So like all the examples?" I'm not sure what is so confusing about that. I even drew a little picture on his syllabus last week to ensure that he got it. It wasn't Divinci's Mona Lisa but it would have made sense to my four-year-old (shout out to my Bug, happy birthday! Don't ever read Mommy's blog!). I think the most disheartening part was that his answers were so wrong that they couldn't even be counted as an opinion. Rewriting what the example says and then saying, no joke, "true" does not count as deciding if you feel the person made the right decision in their situation. Saying that the Boston Tea Party should have tried to negotiate for lower tea prices instead of wasting the tea is not what the Boston Tea Party was about. More importantly, the men of Enron weren't trying to build a company they could "believe in for their children". The were motha fuckin thieves bro. I couldn't help it, I brought it up in class in front of everyone. I needed him to know how fucking stupid or how high he must have been to answer like that. But as per usual, Dark Phoenix was the only other person who understood why he was wrong. All for nought I tell ya.

So any who, tonight, after listening to the other groups ramble about "proscuttorial ethics", "the people who rapeded the ladied girl", "why it is importants for the lawyers to have rulers", and how hard it is for Juarez Teenager Female to be taken seriously because she looks so young (yes, that was one of her talking points....but spelled and pronounced wrong), my group presented on Ethics of the Defense Attorney. Right before we started the presentation, Blond Sonya loudly informs me that she didn't do the discussion questions that are due EVERY WEEK AND HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PRESENTATION FOR TONIGHT OR WEEK 5. I asked her in a whisper (following her yell) how that was relevant to the presentation and she once again loudly says "Oh it's cuz I thought it was just the two questions for the examples. You should have told me!" Really? I should have told you to do your individual work? If it weren't for Dark Phoenix LOLing and then trying to pretend she hadn't heard by playing with her phone, I probably would have just choked a bitch.

We did the presentation....and by that I mean, they read from the slides and I provided audience interaction, examples not listed on the slide, and brilliant commentary. As we were coming to our seats, Blond Sonya notices my hair. I braided my hair into a headband tonight (yes, I learned how on Pinterest) and it looked pretty cute. Blond Sonya must have thought so too because she asked me where I bought my headband. I explained to her that it wasn't a headband, it was just a braid of my real hair.  She replied with "No, it;s cuz it's a lighter blond than your hair." I explained to her (with the rest of the class watching in amazement for some reason) that I have natural hi-lights that come out in my hair, being that I am a born this way blond, and that's why the braid is lighter. She replied with "No, hi-lights aren't natural." This coming from the Hispanic woman with dark brown hair, blond chunks and black roots. I simply replied "You're right, they aren't natural...for you."

Joe Cool was laughing so hard he had tears, Fat Alberto started talking about how "Mexicana's always be jealous of the white girls" and how they need to "stop with the yellow hairs", Dark Phoenix did the phone thing again and Juarez Teenager Female spoke up to say that my hair didn't look like fake hair because only "negras get las weaves"...yes, that happened.

The rest of the night was a lecture on judicial ethics, not to be confused with Judge Judy, which is what Fat Alberto kept using as his reference material for every interruption. I may have been annoyed, but at least I got blog material this week!

Thinking about blogging on friendship soon. I have a specific one in mind. If any of you think you know what I'm talking about, you're probably right on the money. Go ahead and message me your blog nickname top three choices now as you KNOW you have a place in the blog.

Until next week bitches and ladied girls.


Shannon said...

They need a come to Jesus moment... LOL... Friendship.... can't wait on this one. :)

L. said...

They really should look into not eating brain tumors for breakfast anymore... :D

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