Saturday, August 20, 2011

4 My People

I was supposed to do this yesterday, but *insert really good reason why I didn't here*. Now that we have that cleared up, I'll give you what you've been desperately waiting for (at least I'd like to think you have been).

The Deputy is a middle-aged, heavy-set, Hispanic male who has been a deputy sheriff for the next county over for five years. Before that (and trust me, this is his only saving grace), he was a deputy sheriff for Maricopa County. If you don't know why that is awesome, I'm going to ask you to choke yourself right now. He is divorced with a daughter and son who he seems to be very proud of. He is a republican (okay, that's a plus too) and is a criminal justice major like me.

Now to the shit you came here to read. Have you ever met that guy that tells a pretty lame joke and no one really laughs, but he tells it about 15 more times within the next hour hoping for more laughs? Yeah, that's the Deputy. He will also ask the same question over and over until he gets an answer that he likes or makes sense to him. He kept asking how we were going to post our group work on the website and I said to him that I would be the one posting it. He then asked how I was going to post it. I again said that I would be the one to post it. Again, he said how. Third time wasn't the charm, it was my snapping point and I responded "I will post our group work to the website. You will send it to me when you are done, I will compile and double check the math, and then, once all of that is done, I will save it in a word document and upload it to phoenix.edu with my computer." Apparently, the sarcasm went right over his head and he said "Oh, okay, sounds good." He didn't have his homework finished either, and he kept answering Jaime James Olmos' questions loudly and proudly...except he was wrong every time.

Coca-Cola isn't too bad. He is also middle-aged and Hispanic, but in relatively good shape. He is another criminal justice major, and he uses math everyday at work (according to him). He is almost finished with his degree, just a few basics left to knock out so I am relatively confident he will be a good team member. I seriously doubt that this close to the finish line he would trip.

Now, the female medical biller, or as I will now be calling her, Shit In My Mouth. She's in her mid-twenties, has a kid and a fiance, works as medical biller for a pediatrician, will be moving to Austin soon, average looking Hispanic....anything else? Oh yeah, her breath smells like someone opened up her mouth and took a nice, hearty shit. I even offered everyone gum, a really strong one too, and it was still horrendous. My dog's asshole smells better, I'm sure.

Oh, and she's one of those "power of positive thinking people". She is constantly telling herself things like "I can do this", "I am a good leader", "I am in control of my situation" and what not. She even said in a somewhat shaky voice "I will be the one to do our Team Charter and the learning logs. I need to be a leader. I can do this". Seriously? Bitch, if you wanted to be a leader, I wouldn't be doing all the ACTUAL work for the group.

I really do welcome the break from all the crazies from my previous classes, but this class is going to do a number of things. 1)Provide ample blog material. 2)Induce vomitting from the smell. And 3)Add to the growing list of reasons I should have chosen a different school.



4 comments:

John McCord said...

This is why I left Phoenix after one class. Not 1 full course, 1 single 4 hour class.

Team assignment?? KMA...dueces

Tiffany said...

LMAO

Shannon said...

LOL... You are awesome. You need to change your major to English/Journalism. :) You rock!

Tiffany said...

I like to fancy myself a better cop than writer. lol

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