My Favorite Things

My gal pal S does a weekly Friday Favorites blog and it is always amazing. Always. She pics the best makeup, clothing, shoes, books, etc. I look forward to it every week. While I am nowhere near as awesome as she, I would like to copy/join her in Friday awesomeness and each week (depending on my energy level) post a few of my Friday reccomendations. Let us begin.

My number one of all-time FAVORITE thing, the Macbook Pro. Isn't it pretty? Best computer I have ever owned. Even better when you get Best Buy's Black Tie Protection and you can throw it at a wall and they'll fix it/replace it for you. The new Macbook Pro is being released soon and while Ill spare you my nerd alert review, it is so worth the proce if your looking to pick up a new lappy.

Apple MacBook Pro 2.5GHz Intel Core i5 Notebook Computer - MD101LL/A

Next up are the iHome Rechargable Capsule Speakers. Greatest speaker systen ever. Not only are these tiny suckers loud and portable, the bottom's are magnetic. They stick together or to whatever metal object you want to keep them out of your way. I have purple ones (of course!) but they come in a wide variety of colors. Anyone with music on their phone should def have portable speakers.

iHome IHM79BC Recharge Mini Speakers Black

Hubby just go this for me and I. Love. It. So much fun. Unlike the first Lego Batman, this one has a fully playable Gothim City and a ton of DC characters to play with. Little Bug loves it too and she's normally anti-video games. I prefer to play it on the Wii versus the XBOX or PS3 but it is available for all systems. Pick whichever you prefer and start playing it. So much silly fun!

LEGO Batman 2: DC Super Heroes w/ Walmart Exclusive Green Lantern

I don't have this, but I need this. Hubby and Little Bug are big Adventure Time fans to put it mildly. At first, I thought it was the stupidest show ever, but once I sat down with them and watched it, I was hooked. Lumpy Space Princess is my fave of all the princesses. I'm pretty sure she's actually a Drag Queen. 

"Adventure Time Lsp Womens T Shirt"

One more before I get on with my day. No summer is official without a good pair of Sperry's and these are to die for. Little Bug needs these most quickly. I am scouring the net for the grown-up version!

SPERRY KIDS Sperry Angelfish Kids' Slip-on Boat Shoes, Linen/Oat - 5.0

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and that my asshole magnestism keeps them all away from the rest of you!

Poetic Tragedy

Before I go live for tonight's class, let me just say that it has been two full weeks since I last attempted to make contact with the ol' BFF. It's not the longest we have gone without talking, but it is the longest I have gone without trying. If some of you have no idea what the hell I'm talking about, read all about it here.

Okay, on to what you came here for. It is 1810 hrs and we are still watching videos from the internet. I've seen them all before and they are no better this time around. Clown Face is laughing at each video as if it is the most hilarious thing she has ever seen. They aren't. She's looked in a mirror before. That has to be the most hilarious thing she has ever seen.

We've only got a little bit of learning to do tonight. We did half of this weeks lesson last week. I-USA has promised us a movie for the end of class. I am seriously annoyed. All we do is watch shit. This isn't America's Funniest Home Videos, this is my fucking education. I am fully aware that Clown Face, Hipster Gordo and Mexican Snookie are cool with watching movies the whole time, but I'm not. The glee on their faces makes me want to slap the shit out of them.

I-USA is "teaching" us about right to counsel and Miranda warnings and I feel like I have heard this all before. Oh, wait, I have. Apparently I-USA did not get the memo that there is nothing new under the sun because he's trying to put a snazzy spin on it. He pretended to be a police officer, he did a (terrible) Clint Eastwood/Dirty Harry impression, did this wierd snappy thing with his hands, but it doesn't matter. I have not uttered a word. I can tell by his face that it's killing him. I just don't care tonight. I'm thinking about telling him at the break that I'm going home. This class and instructor are a waste of time.

Okay, I finally spoke. Stoner White Boy Cop was asked if a suspect he was interogating said that he might want a lawyer, would he tell him to get one. He said no, he would keep talking to him. I had to answer, not just because I-USA was looking to me for a response, but because cops like SWBC are the reason confessions get thrown out. I said that anytime a suspect mentions the word lawyer, stop what you are doing and get a definitive answer. Don't tell them they don't need one, don't bully them into not getting one, just clarify if they want one and proceed accordingly. SWBC looked embarassed as I-USA reitterated what I said. Now we all know how shitty of a cop you are. Awesome. I hope he's the guy who arrests me (God Forbid) because his lack of procedural knowledge and obediance would get me off on appeal.

I just can't seem to focus on class. I keep thinking about who's going to win the basketball game tonight. Please, please, please let OKC come back. I am anticipating an awesome new episode of Suits tonight. Harvey Spector is my dream man (Sorrry Hubby). I am also dwelling on my lack of conversation with the Not BFF. I am much more sad about it this week than last. You get used to somebody, knowing they are just a phone call away, but he isn't now. In all honesty, he hasn't been for some time. Writing it down makes me realize it that much more. Jerk.

Everyone has left for break and it's just me and SWBC. I'm typing, he's on his phone. We're going on 3 minutes of silence, well past the point of making decent conversation. It would be awkward if I said anything now, even though he is staring blankly at me. Well, you know how much I love awkward...

Me: So how long have you been a cop?
SWBC: Uh...like four years?
Me: Is that a question?
SWBC: Haha, yeah like four years.
Me: Do you like being Sun City PD?
SWBC: Yeah, well, like, it's pretty easy.
Me: Well, that's good, I guess.
SWBC: Yeah.

That was it. More awkward silence. Thank God Katniss and Juarez Teenager Female came back in. He's not the conversationalist I expected, he's worse. I-USA started back with the videos. I haven't laughed once. He keeps looking at Katniss and I for approval and when he doesn't recieve it, tries to amp us up for the next one. I'm starting to enjoy this, knowing how much he needs our affirmation. I know, I'm sick.

I'm scraping at the bottom of the barrel hear. I-USA keeps rambling about IDing suspects and when half the class (okay 2/3) has been in a line-up, it kind of feels like he's giving them advice on beating the charge. I'm trying to hold out for the movie, but I want to leave. He just started on workshop 5, so we get out early next week, and I want to scream. Play your fucking movie so we can go the fuck home. We aren't going to get out early next week because you'll have another movie for us then.

I'm not sure why I haven't left yet. Six people didn't come back from the break, I should have made it seven. I've got this whole scenario worked out in my head. I start packing up my stuff and I-USA says "Where do you think you're going?" and I reply "The hell away from here." I walk out the door and as I put my shades on (because sunglasses make everything cooler) he starts to play another stupid video but this time, it triggers short and the room blows up. I, of course, keep walking because cool people don't look at explosions. I am aware that this would mean people die and that's not cool, but I'm bored and my mind is wandering.

I-USA is describing what happens when an undercover cop poses as a hooker and tries to entrap men looking to bang said hooker. He went into far too much detail for me to not think he's been with a hooker. I realize he is trying to get us to argue with him that entrapment is a load of shit. For the most part, I did. I said what I think, if you steal a car that has the keys in it, take someones money that is hanging out of their purse, or try to pay a hooker for sex, you are knowingly breaking the law. You chose to do that. The cops didn't make you break the law. No one took the other side though. Back to "Let's all agree with the white girl!" I forgot, one of the other girls, Not Elle Woods, asked me if I was staying in the class during the break. She used my name and I chuckled before answering because I don't know hers and probably never will. She'll always be Not Elle Woods or Pinkie Pie (from My Little Pony). I'll go with Pinkie Pie, easier to type. I wasn't sure why she asked until I realized she set all her stuff back down on her desk and then left. You can leave your stuff if a white girl is in the room.

It's almost 9pm which means movie time. This will officially mean that 4/16 hours or 1/4 of our total class time has been movies. Add the youtube clips and I can confidently say that 3/8 of class has been video. He just announced the moive for tonight. Brubaker with Robert Redford. Fuck no. This isn't an Oscar viewing party. I'm done. I don't pay all this money to attend University of Ficticious Bird to watch okay movies from the 1970's or documentaries that blame America for all that is wrong in Mexico. Sorry folks. Drawing the proverbial line.

I'll catch up with you all on Saturday (maybe).

I Can't Make It On Time

Tuesday's time warp was delayed (again) as I did not have any idea of what to write. I thought you people understood I rely on your suggestions to get the ol' brain workin'. Apparently not. I still haven't gotten any, but I watched a video on HuffPo today that made me say "Fuck Time Warp Tuesday." It's about to get real.

A woman named Karen Huff Klein works as a school bus monitor in the city of Rochester, New York. She has lived there her whole life, about to attend her 50th high school reunion, has been widowed for 17 years and 10 years ago lost her son to suicide. She works as a bus monitor to ensure that the children aren't being harmed or bullied by each other or the bus driver. However, the unappreciative, disrespectful, asshole children that ride the bus are the bullies that she needed protection from. Here's the video:

WARNING: This video may make you want to beat the shit out of these little punk ass children.

If you couldn't keep watching, I understand. I wanted to cry for her. I wanted to give her a hug. I wanted to snatch the little bitch with the phone up and throw him out the damn window. Did you see the one who poked her with his yearbook? I'd press assault charges.

I'm not sure what is worse, what they said or that they filmed it and uploaded it. Obviously what was said to this woman was beyond awful, but these little bastards were so proud of what they did, they put it on the Internet. I'm sure one (or more) of them is delighting in how many hits it has gotten. I wish, that for every hit this video gets, the same amount of hits is given to these creatures of evil by their parents.

Speaking of parents, we all like to go straight to the righteous indignation and believe that our children would NEVER behave this way. These kids must have crack-whore, alchie, white-trash, ghetto, hoodlum, (pick your adjective) single mothers and absent father's to act like this. You know you thought it. More than likely, these kids come from a normal household with normal upbringings. Mommy and Daddy love one another and little Billy, Juan, or Jamal get lots of love and attention. You know what they don't get? Lessons in respect and ass-whoppings.

Like most American children in the upper-levels of elementary school and middle school, they know there is not a god damn thing that teachers, bus drivers, and in this case, school bus monitors can do to them. Teachers can't hit them, can't take their cell phones, can't correct them even without a parent contacting the authorities. "Oh my baby is being harassed!" Why? Because a teacher told him to sit his fat ass down and pay attention?

There is a black teenage girl (yes, her race matters) in California that reported to the police that her teacher slapped her several times across the face because she didn't bring her required notebook, pen/pencil, and books to class (which she showed up late for). The NAACP (see, told you race was relevant) is calling for the teacher to be fired and sued and probably burned at the stake because this was "clearly a racially motivated incident." The girl is also suing the school for $1,010,000 for pain and psychological damages. The school conducted an investigation and found the teacher only "patted" the girl and students that were present have backed up the teacher. But let's sue anyway. The teacher, who is Hispanic, has apologized but that isn't good enough. A million bucks will make it good enough.

I'm not saying that hitting a student is okay, but what's the back story? There are reports that the girl is always tardy, never brings her homework, has a bad attitude and is very disrespectful to the teacher and other students. The school is standing behind the teacher and students of all races are backing her as well. There are reports out of Malibu (where the school is) that the girl has recanted her story after investigators started doubting it. Nothing official yet, but look how quickly this story spread? Can't find a retraction but you can find the initial reports. And that's what these kids see. If they don't get their way, if someone has the audacity to correct them, they'll just lie about them. Who cares if you destroy an adults reputation when they did nothing wrong? What message are her parents sending her by pursuing a lawsuit?

Back to the kids in the Karen Huff Klein case, are they going to sue next? I'm sure there is a lawyer who'd take that case somewhere. "My client was saying those vile things because he was in fear that Ms. Klein was actually going to sweat on him." Next thing you know, the kids will be demanding apologies from the district and Ms. Klein because of the emotional trauma they feel by being outed as assholes. The police are even being called to post guards at the homes of the children because they claim to fear for their safety. Seriously. You should fear for your safety....from your parents! They should beat that ass until it's black and blue. But no, these kids are the victims now. Poor, poor kids that were just expressing themselves.

Karen gave an interview where she (because she's a good person) defended the kids. "They weren't that bad all year. They just had one day. I don't know what possessed them. I hope that this might help other people, that's what I really hope. To go though all this for nothing would not be satisfactory." These four boys (their names are in the comments) relentlessly attacked a woman old enough to be their grandmother and even after seeing her cry, KEPT GOING. How do you pick on a woman that is still trying to find the good in your pathetic ass?! How?! 


If those are the names of the boys, they should be shared. Make. Them. Famous. Let everyone know that they are cruel and pathetic and deserve to be humiliated and shamed. And fuck an apology, I highly doubt it would be sincere anyway. 


Before anyone gets all uppity in the comments, I am fully aware of the bullying the bully philosophy I seem to be supporting. I am also aware that I could also be labeled a bully for my Thursday Thrashings. There is no justification for what I write. I'm old and grown enough that I don't have to supply one. I'm honest and truthful about what goes down in class. If any of these people ever read it and said "Hey, that sounds a lot like me," I would smile politely and ask what their point was. No one gets a blog reference without provocation, something that cannot be said for the attack on Ms. Klein. And if you really think I'm such a bully, why the hell are you reading this anyway? 


These boys in New York should be banned from riding the bus. Permanently. Let the parent's worry about how to get them to school. I bet when Mommy and Daddy start being inconvenienced by the dropping off and picking up, the kids will feel it to. No more iPhone to upload mean videos. No more TV and XBOX and hanging out with friends. Make them work for redemption. Start with Ms. Klein's yard. I'm sure she could use some help. And isn't what they did a hate crime? They reference her weight and age, so charge the punks. The girl in Malibu should be charged with filing a false police report. Let's see how that looks on a college application. Teach our children that there are consequences for bad behavior. 

I'm done for today. Anger makes me hive out.