I Got Stoned and I Missed It

I had so many things I could have blogged about today. For starters, all the hoochie mamas at Little Bug's school today for the volunteer meeting. If I ever get so desperate that I find myself wanting to fit in with these women, I now know I just need to hit up Forever 21 and buy a 2 sizes too small tube top. I also had some DNC related quips, some local politics commentary, even a lovely review of the Oogie Love movie (based on the previews). But I have something I think you'll find more interesting.

My new teammate. My online film class is entering it's 4th week and Team E was hit with a shocker. Someone was going to be added to our three-man/woman wrecking crew. Remember Patrick? Of course you do. No, he isn't my new team member. But his female equivalent is. Her name is...wait for it...Patricia and she is just as stupid and rude as him. Here's the breakdown of BEFORE she was in our group.

It started last week really. She commented on my post (the same one that Patrick had) and said she agreed with me and then posted again and said that the movies were awful and needed a better storyline. Then this:

Hello mr. Ryan and class. I watched both Zombieland and Shaun of the Dead and I feel like the both fall into one existing genre. My reason why is because the two seems to be low budget films just to make money. For example, Woody Harrelson when have he starred in any good movie lately? And his supporting cast are bunch of no names. Shaun of the Dead is casted in the same mold as zombieland, both are low budget films that find themselves in the comedy and horror area of filmmaking. I see the genre as the same movie with different plots.


So of course I replied: (my responses will be in purple for the rest of the post)

Emma Stone, Jesse Eisenberg, Bill Murray, and Abigail Breslin are hardly "no-names". Jesse Eisenberg was nominated for an Oscar for The Social Network, as was Abigail Breslin for Little Miss Sunshine. Emma Stone was in The Help which got a ton of buzz and Bill Murray...well, he's a legend. Woody Harrelson was just in The Hunger Games with Jennifer Lawrence (another Oscar nominee), Friends With Benefits with Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis and The Messenger with Ben Foster (which I strongly recommend). 

That was followed with these three posts, back-to-back, as if she only meant to post one but couldn't decide which and posted all three. 


Hi Tiffany, I too find the Zombieland and Shaun of the Dead as horror and a comedy. I personally do not like neither of them because they are just dumb. But as the slogan goes "that's hollywood".

Didn't you just say they only fall into one genre?

Hi Tiffany I would equate a movie where the good guy son is held captive and the good guy only have until 12 noon to come up with the ransom money or his son will die. The clock is ticking and the good guy have to come up with the ransom money that he have in the bank. I would put this movie in the category of a horror movie. Would you? Remember the clock is ticking!!

But that typically isn't a horror movie. That would be suspense, action, thriller, even drama but not horror. Ransom with Mel Gibson is that premise and it isn't a horror movie. Look up the genre descriptions and I think you'll change your view on a whole lot of films. 

Hi Tiffany, the two films that you mentioned could use a better story line. These films too me are just simple surposed to be horror movies. To the producers to these two film, you could do better. Tiffany, next time discuss better movies.

I'm confused. The post before this one you said that the films are horror/comedy but now you're calling them just horror. I didn't mention the films, Mr. Ryan did and now we are all commenting on them. I respect your opinion on the films, but I'm just finding it hard to follow.

I think the movies are meant to be funny, like a parody of the genre. Much like the Scary Movie franchise. Maybe try watching them as a comedy. It might change your mind as to what they are supposed to be. Either way, I enjoyed them both and own them both. I'll be watching them again soon, as October is officially monster movie month...horror or comedy.

Keep in mind, my responses came much later and long after hers were posted rapid fire like. This wasn't a back and forth conversation by any means. She never replied to me. But she did comment on one of my teammate Mike's post about the movie It. She said she saw it in the theaters when she was a very young girl and it scared her so bad. Keep in mind, she is in her 40's. It came out in 1990 and was a TV mini-series originally shown on ABC. She says she is 42 right now, that means she was 20 when it came out. Not a "very young girl." I replied that I was not aware that It was ever in movie theaters. I also said that I was 6 when it came out and watched it on ABC before my parents caught me and turned it off. I then added that the version I had seen with Tim Curry must be a remake of whatever one she had seen in theaters, though there was no listing on IMDB.com for it, because the only version I know of came out when she was 20. No reply from her, but my Mike posted this photo as his reply:

He was asked to take it down by Steve, but the 3-5 minutes it was up made me giggle.

So then on Monday, Steve adds her to our team. He said he was aware this was unusual but if we could make her feel welcome, he would appreciate it. This was Mike's welcome to her:

Sorry about the pwn-age. You did get pwned though. Welcome to our group. Just do your part and spell things correctly and we will all get along.

Classy guy, that Mike. I think if we had a real life class, I would recruit him to my team. Anyway, I posted the three movies we would be using for our presentation. Mike chose last week and Gerald (the other guy) told me to choose because any movie he would pick "will probably suck." I picked Young Guns, Sixteen Candles, and Super-size Me from the list. A Western, a romance, and a documentary because, well, the assignment calls for a Western, a romance, and a documentary. Each member fills out a matrix that asks about each genre, turns them into me by Saturday morning, and then I turn in the presentation by Monday night. THIS WAS ALL EXPLAINED. Besides, she had been in another group and they had to do the same thing last week for a horror movie and a comedy...she would get it.

Nope. Didn't get it.

Hello, my name is Patricia Wilson I have been added to this team, I like the suggestion  I like the  selected choices please tell what you want me to do.

I just did. But I exercised patience and said:

Complete the matrix for each movie and submit it to the team forum by Saturday.

Still didn't take:

Hello, Ok I am not understunding clearly are these the movies that are selected and I need to locate the matrix for each movie can you explain what you are suggesting so I can complete it please.

Followed immediately with my response:

These are the movies: Young Guns, Sixteen Candles, and Super-size Me.

The matrix for each are located under the "Week 4 Materials" tab. Fill out the Western matrix for the Western, the romance matrix for the romance, and the documentary matrix for the documentary. Just like you should have done last week for the comedy and horror movies your last team picked.

Have them completed and turned in by Saturday (morning preferred) and I will compile the answers for the team power point.

We all understand the assignment by now right? Not Patricia!

Hello, I found the matrix now are these the movies that are selected if so I can fill that out for three movie am I correct?

I had to stop replying. I still don't actually know if she understands. But I did realize I can look in the Team C forum (her old group) and I checked out the communication between her and her old team. She appointed herself team leader, wrote a charter without asking for anyone's schedule, insisted all work be turned in no later than when she leaves work on Thursday, and then when the other's said that they would turn it in on Sunday (it's due Monday 11:59 pm), she submitted an assignment on Friday without anyone elses name on it and told Mr. Ryan they all refused to help. Then, when the other's called her ass out (it was hilarious) she called them all "slackers and low-lifes." 

Hopefully Patrick Patricia turns her shit in on time. I would hate to omit her from the assignment...though, if I do, you can bet I am going to let her old team know!

Class tonight and it's the final one with Baloo! YAY!