Friday, November 9, 2012

You're Gonna Miss Me

I didn't blog last week because I didn't go to school last week. I felt and looked like death, so obviously I couldn't leave the house. Sorry to leave you all hanging. I need to get back on here, blogging it up, but I've been pretty busy.

I got a job. It's overnight at the world's largest toy store. After the first night, they made me 2IC. I haven't lifted a box or stocked a shelf since (unless my OCD kicked in and I felt the need to put all the Ninjago in the correct place). Needless to say, I haven't much time for blogging.

HMIC strutted in, dramatically threw his stuff down on a table, and said, "Well, who's ready to have a shitty four more years?!" I laughed, so did a few others, but Clown Face said, "Ay but he promised change. It'll happen!" Stoner White Boy Cop spoke up and told her, "He promised change four years ago. Shit changed alright, for the worse." Clown Face then said, "Oh yeah that's so true." Way to stick to your guns. I asked her if she voted and she said no, but it was because the lines were annoying. "Oh, so you went to the polling place, but didn't have time to wait?" I asked. "No," she said, "I saw on the TV that the lines were long in Florida too." I almost asked what Florida has to do with El Paso, but I didn't want to lose brain cells.

I still don't feel too hot. No fever or anything, but my allergies are acting up and I want to take a nap. HMIC is doing his best to engage me, but I'm sleepy McTired Pants. How is it possible that with all my yawning and coughing, I am still the most active participant in the room? This makes my head hurt.

To top all of that off, we broke for lunch and I didn't move. I'm a wee bit hungry, but I just didn't think it was worth it. There is one gas station near the campus and everyone breaks for lunch at the same time. Nope. I'm good. The things you overhear when you don't leave the classroom though...juicy. Apparently Dental Diva and Clown Face almost came to blows last week in the parking lot after class, all because Clown Face didn't correct the grammar in their team paper. Dental Diva said she sent the paper to her with shitty spelling and grammar because that's the job of the editor. Oh Dang totally agreed with her, because "who has time to make sure it's right?" THEY didn't volunteer to edit the paper, so Clown Face should just "fucking edit it and shut her mouth." Well, after class last week, Dental Diva was parked by Clown Face and CF stood in front of DD's car door and demanded an answer as to why she didn't edit her work. DD told CF she better get the fuck out of her face or she would "gut that bitch." Over editing?!

CF, allegedly, put her hands on DD and shoved her back into another car, which caused to alarm to go off. DD said that the security guard came running over and CF was lucky because "she was gonna get it. Bitch doesn't know how we do." Oh Dang told DF that she would have so had her back but she looked like she had it. "Girl, I knew you'd fuck her up. I saw you, you had it." These women are mothers. Sheesh.

Eh, I guess I don't have any room to talk. I took Little Bug to see Wreck It Ralph this past weekend. Everything was fine, but the place was packed. So, when it was time to leave, traffic was a nightmare. I patiently waited for a good fifteen minuets. When I finally was able to move, a man in a black Ford sedan with Juarez plates tries to cut in. It wasn't like he had been waiting as well, he zipped in out of nowhere and tried to squeeze his car in between me and the guy in front of me. Normally I let people in, but there was no room for this guy unless I backed up and that wasn't happening, not with the 15 cars behind me. So I honk at him to warn him that as he is inching towards me and about to hit me. He keeps moving and I honk again. It set him off.

He rolls down his window and starts throwing trash from his vehicle at my car. A full theater cup of soda, a small cardboard box, random fast food wrappers, one after another strikes the hood of my car and windshield. I watch in horror as he gets out of his car, reaches into the parking lot planter, and picks up a good-sized rock. Keep in mind he is on Little Bug's side of the car. I reacted.

I got out of the car. Probably a dumb move, but I sized him up pretty well. He was maybe five feet, scrawny, and effeminate as all get out. I could take him. He saw me get out and threw the rock. He missed. Worse than when I threw a rock at this Asian boy named Who-e in the seventh grade. That story WILL be told one day. Anyway, he sees me and hurries back into his car. The whole time he's yelling at me that I'm a crazy white bitch, a fucking whore, skank, slut, cunt, puta, etc. He was so determined to wound me with words that even after he got in his car, he rolled his window down to keep yelling at me. I calmly walked toward his open window, spit on his face and hit his window three times with the side of my fist. On the third strike, I heard his window crack. Then, I calmly walked back to my car, flipped him off, got back in and drove off.

I'm not proud. At. All. Little Bug was super upset, it took me forever to calm her down, but it took me longer to calm myself down. I thought he was gonna smash in her window or who knows what. I reacted. Poorly. But come at my kid, I come at you. I'm appalled that I spit on his face. So classless. I know you're probably thinking "What about Little Bug?!" But even whilst enraged, I turned off the car, took out the keys, and locked it. Aside from the emotional trauma, she's fine. I explained to her that mommy was scared the mean man was going to hit her and she was so sweet. She said, "Mommy, you're a good mommy. You won't let anyone hurt me. But don't be mean to strangers." Thank goodness kids are resilient, because I was so sad that she witnessed that. Please, judge away in the comments.

Class picked back up. We had to do this role-play activity that designated four groups to represent four different parts of an ice cream company. Oh Dang, Stoner White Boy Cop, Dawg, and I were all on a team and we represented the production plant of the company. Because I'm exhausted and because there was too much going on to type, I will say just this: we kicked ass. So much so that the three of them suggested we be a group next class. I replied that they shouldn't get carried away. The less I find that I have in common with these people the better.

Anyway, me so sleepy. Unfortunately, I have to stay up to keep my sleep schedule, but continuing to write would just produce babble. Maybe more later in the week.

6 comments:

ChrisDavid said...

I would highly reccommend having INS, Border Patrol, local and state cops on various forms of speed dial. Even if you aren't really calling them, getting out of your car, looking right at the perp and loudly saying Yes, police, this man is throwing large stones at my daughter as she is sitting in the car would make him stop whatever he is doing and fast.

zion hackler-Lopez said...

Louisville slugger would have broke through just saying. I'm not judging. I would have lost it. When it comes to our baby tiny no one will ever harm her, and if they tried, I'll bash their face in.

Anonymous said...

I'm judging you for the fact you cracked his window....should have been his face!

Fat Bottomed Girl said...

The window wasn't open enough. Couldn't reach in.

Shannon {ava_caitlyn} said...

I am proud of you. Mama had to protect her baby. Nobody in the world would be able to hold that against you. ((HUGS)) What a dick.

Ana Lyman said...

Holy freakin' crap! No judging here!

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