Monday, July 11, 2011

Crazy Bitch

I know, I know, I am a lazy blogger. I'd say I've been busy with stuff and things.....but really, Farmville and awesome summer television has kept me away. Have you seen all the shows on USA? Super f-ing good. And all the men are like crazy hot, especially Matt Bomer on White Collar.

Anyway, it's Monday night and I am in class again. New course, new teacher, same annoying Mrs. Wannabe Officer. African Army isn't here has him listed on the class roster, here's hoping he up and quit. Oooh, maybe he was deployed and will actually have to serve the country that gave him the free fucking ride he's on.

Our teacher is a very nice New Mexico state prison warden. Not what I expected. He's cheery and has a goofy smile and laughs at his own jokes.

Enough about him, more about Mrs. Wannabe Officer. I think she thinks he's flirting with her. He's being polite and isn't aware that she never shuts the fuck up and is always irrelevant. I am keeping the people around me thoroughly entertained as I cannot help but have a nasty, sarcastic remark come out every time she speaks.

1851: She asked The Warden if he gives tours of his facility but nothing is worse than a fat, stuck in the 80's in a bad way 40 something trying to flirt like she's a teenager. And he is so married. He referenced his wife two or three times already and just by looking at him you can tell he's happily married. She just adjusted her shirt to show a little cleavage...oh god, help us all.

1853: Apparently she is a mother fucking expert on corrections. Because "Inmates don't get rights like we do." really, I so did not know that! Please, tell me more. Actually, please don't.

1902: Oh no, he brought up Casey Anthony. She's like a bitch in heat trying to get her opinion out. Me and my learning team member just dominated that discussion so she couldnt. Take that bitch.

1910: I'd love to ask her why she repeats everything The Warden says as if she is finishing his sentence or as if it was her thought. I understand that some people use that as a tool to remember things, but she's not one of those people. She says it, not in a questioning way, but more in a "Everyone look at me, see, I know this stuff". But she doesn't. Like, at all. Every thing she says when she isn't repeating him (or the past four insructors) is so inaccurate or just flat out wrong that it gives me a headache. Apparently, it is also giving me wrinkles as I furrow my forehead everytime.

1932: She doesn't laugh. She doesn't giggle. She doesn't even cackle. She sounds like a goddamn donkey getting raped by an elephant. Oh shit son, guess who has some quality video of her? That'd be me. I'm going to try and get more, maybe make a Mrs. Wannabe Officer's Greatest Hits. I mean, what's the point of having all this awesome movie software and not using it?

2044: So we got back from break about 10 min ago, and I'm pretty sure she's been hittin' the ole bottle. Glossy eyes, red blotchy skin, slurred speech. I know you all are thinking "Wait, isn't that what she normally looks like?" and you would be correct, but there's this sauced up twinkle in her good eye that makes me think she's been hanging out with Jim or Jack. I'd bet on it.

2112: Quiz time....aced it. Yay. Now we get to go home! Thanks for reading my rant!


Shannon said...

NICE. Once again you are cracking me up. BAHAHAHA!!!!

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