Alma Mater

You know what I love about my University of Ficticious Bird? If you miss two classes, you're dropped from the class. It might even mean be that you are dropped from the school. Like, out of the five weeks of class, five days really, you can only miss one. I love it. Maybe because I have never missed a single class and there is really nothing that would prevent me from attending.

But MAYBE it's because Big Mama, a once reliable team member, has now missed her second class in three weeks and no longer can be the bane of my existence! Yay!

Let me give a little back story. In my quest to assemble the learning team to beat all learning teams, I recruited Big Mama from another learning team a few courses ago. I like that she had an opinion and didn't just sit by idly class after class. She seemed to be a good public speaker and she seemed to have done well on her individual papers. Sure she was G-hetto and could probably crush me by sitting on me if I pissed her off, but I figured she would be a reliable team member.

The past two courses, she was okay. I had to edit a lot of her work for group submissions, but I chalked that up to my need for perfection and everything to match MY writing style. She had a tendency to go off the cuff during group presentations and it would annoy me, but we always got a good grade, so I let it go. She even had my back when I tossed Former Team Member to the curb. She was all for it with some "I know that's right"s and a few "Oh hell naw"s and even three or four "Oh no he didn't"s. She even gave me this empowering (I guess that was the intent) speech about how I ain't gotta let no man try and run this shit and how he was gonna know who his boss be.

But it was all downhill from there. This latest course started three weeks ago and as usual, she missed the   first class. She always misses week one, it's like, her thing. No big deal right? So I email her the group work, her portion outlined with what I specifically needed from her and let her know it is due by Thursday to me. No response, not that I needed one, but not even a "Hey, I got this" or "Hey, I have some personal issues". Thursday hits and the other two members have sent me there stuff, but nothing from Big Mama. I text her and get nothing. I call her, nothing. I email AND Facebook her and still nothing. Friday morning, she texts me and says that she's been in the hospital for the past five days and that she would get it to me by that night and she was so sorry. I even ignored the fact that when I got the work, it was so awful that I had to just write that portion. I told her that I incorporated elements of her work, but I wasn't sure of her status so I had already done it. She bought it and I think that was my biggest mistake.

This past week, the due date was Friday. I didn't get it to them until Tuesday and it was harder work, so I figured it was fair to push it back a day. Thursday, I get the work from the other two members. Friday, nothing from Big Mama. I text, call, email, and FB and nothing. Saturday, I text, call, email, and FB and nothing. Saturday night she sends me a message that says:
"Hey there chica,

Below is  my I can not put it in a Word document because my word has expired and i do not have the funds right now to get another one and the writing lab is close."

The rest of the email contains one run one paragraph in six different fonts, incorrect citations, horrible spelling, and grammar that wouldn't get you out of kindergarten.

I spent three hours on Sunday attempting to edit the mistakes and properly cite so we don't get knocked for plagiarism. What ended up happening? I was able to take her mutilated work and perform some god damn plastic surgery on it and make it work. Realistically, four words of the finished product were actually hers.

I already had to fix another team members work because she was out of the country and unreachable, so you can imagine how pissed I am. So I send her an email back saying that she needed to review what she sent me carefully and that she could have at least tried to perform a spelling and grammar check and formatted it. I then sent out the finished product to all the team members with my analysis of the work. I told the one on vacay that she answered the wrong question and I couldn't reach her to fix it so I had to, I told the other she did a good job as usual and I told Big Mama that her paper was late, not up to our written group standards and that she was taking advantage of the group and my sympathy for the situation. Our group has a policy to share ALL communication between members, so ALL group members got the email.

Well, it set her off.

Tiffany,

First, I really don't appreciate you putting me on blast like that with the email to everyone, sending me an email about it was perfectly fine. Secondly, no one is taking advantage of you. If I had the word document still or was to get to a word document then the formatting and the other issues would have not been an problem. 

I don't need to be threatened by you or anyone else. I understand that everyone time is valuable, but I told you on Monday that I was going to be working overtime all this week to make up for the hours I missed last week due to me being in the hospital. Things happen in everyone life and I don't think you being fair. I haven't had time to create the paper in the deadline you gave me but I have been working 16hr shifts since Tuesday. 

I am doing the best I can under the circumstances. I work evenings due to the fact that the medication that I am on wont allow me to function during the day and in many cases wont allow me to even be awake without getting at least 10hrs of sleep, then my shift is from 230-11pm Tuesday-Saturday......I know I already told you this but the reason I am bringing this up is because I should not be the only one accused of not taking other people lives into consideration. 

I have to go days without taking my medication just so I can meet your deadlines which is not fair to me either. So.......like I said before if you truly feel that I do not deserve to be on this paper then take me off but I have worked my but off just like everyone else to be about of this group. Just in case you are not aware......it is hard to deal with my medical conditions, be a full time single mother, a full time employee, and a full time student but I am getting it done which you cont say. 

I broke it up to make it easier to read, it was one run on paragraph before. The yellow portion is my favorite line. I am the reason she can't take her medication because of MY deadlines. I wonder if I'm the reason she is obese, borderline morbidly obese. I wonder if I made her a single mother too. Maybe it was the McDonalds you shove down your face that made you obese and the obesity led to your medical problems. Maybe sleeping with a convicted felon who said "Bitch, you better not get pregnant" made you a single mother. I know what I do do for you, my tax dollars pay for your free healthcare that I don't qualify for, the WIC you get that I don't qualify for, the dental and medical for your daughter that I don't get for my daughter, and the financial aid to go to school that I don't qualify for.

Here's what I really can't comprehend: You don't have "the funds" to get Microsoft Word, but you proudly boast that you get your "hair did" with a "fresh weave" every two weeks. I saw Good Hair with Chris Rock. That shit is expensive. You get airbrushed nails that are three inches long every three weeks, that's not cheap either. But you get free healthcare, WIC and financial aid. The university allows you to buy MS Word for 50% off. that's what? 50 bucks? You don't have 50 bucks? God forbid you not buy one lunch at McDonald's!

I'm still shocked she didn't pull the race card. Hell, I'm still expecting it to happen. How dare I have the audacity to tell a hard working, single, sick black mother that she needs to pull all that weight. I listened week after week how much she detests "ghetto black folk" and how "all they be doin" is make excuses. How "ignorant ass black folk" make people like her look bad. Yet all she has done is blame everyone else for her issues and she types like she speaks.

This was my reply:

No one threatened you. And I sent out that email to everyone, because everyone needs to be included. You were aware and agreed to every deadline that we created AS A GROUP. You didn't even have the decency to tell me your work would be late. 

If you choose to be a full time employee and "full time" student, you need to balance your priorities accordingly. Our deadlines are either Thursday or Friday, whatever we agree on AS A GROUP so please do not say that I am the reason you can't take your medication. That's ridiculous. 

University of Phoenix also requires you to have a computer and Word that works. It's in a policy letter. If you weren't able to do that all you had to do was ask for help. I would have even proof read it and edited it for you, no big deal. But you didn't. And you didn't tell me it would be late. And you didn't think that I would be waiting on your portion to finish the paper. Maybe you should understand that your problems are your problems and no one in our group is responsible for them. 

BTW, if you don't "have the funds" to buy a copy of Word, how can you afford that new weave you just posted on your Facebook? Just a thought. 

She didn't reply and she didn't show up tonight. My intent was not to get her to drop out, just step her game up, be respectful of the group and carry her weight. Guess that 400 lbs was too much.