Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Heard You Whisper

Maybe it was my Dependa Slap Down earlier today, maybe it was my lack of sleep last night, maybe it's because Nicki Minaj went all hood on Mariah Carrey and I can't be outdone. Whatever it is, I am not having it tonight. It doesn't help that everything I am writing is in a tough English accent in my head. Totally egging me on, actually. Say "actually" out loud in a British accent....amazing, idint it?

I am actually still reeling from having to do so much homework this week. I easily BS'd my way through my art class paper, but I have to respond to discussion questions daily and it's driving me mad. The forum in which we post has spellcheck, use it. Then I had my individual paper for Mr. Bordertown's class, but he took FOREVER to get our grades back to us from last week. I have this mental block that doesn't allow me to create new work when the old work hasn't been graded (praised) yet. I know I'll get an A, but I need to see the A. So the grades came through yesterday and I put my nose to the grindstone to finish and not neglect my child at the same time. Not sure if I struck the right balance, but I'll pay for her therapy later.

THEN there was the team paper and presentation. I should have had that done a few days ago, but you know what happens when you have to read a boring ass article and then write a paper about said boring ass article? You take your fucking time. The subject of the article doesn't really suck, I love an good in-depth study about illicit arms trafficking in the Balkans. I don't love an in-depth study written by foreigners who use other people's in-depth studies and articles instead of doing their own research. I ended up using the articles that were referenced instead and explained in the paper that the original article was shit. THEN I made a half-assed presentation that everyone else would turn in as their best work. All the while catching up on Once Upon A Time and Revenge. I'm sure I missed a bunch by only listening...such is life.

I walked into class to find Juarez Teenager Female already here and frantically taking notes. She looked up and when she saw me, she looked like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. "Oh my gawd, I dint know if you were coming and I jus barely gotted the presentation! I don't even know what slides is mine and there are no notes or nothing!" she whined. I set up my things and sat down. I told her calmly, "Well it's really hard when one person is doing the work of three. You wouldn't know that burden, would you?" She looked embarrassed (as she should be) and asked if I had note cards for her. I gave her the ones for her slide and quietly said, "If you don't like when I get the work to you, maybe you should offer to help." Again, she looked embarrassed and said, "Oh its cuz I thought maybe you just dint do it cuz like sometimes I just don't do it either."

I wasn't shocked, but Typhoid Maria sure was. She had been quietly listening to our conversation and finally decided to speak up. "It's such a shame that I put so much effort into my work and people like you just skate by," she bitched. "People like who?" I loudly replied. "I didn't mean white people," she said sounding panicked, "I meant Juarez Teenager Female. I promise!" I had to make the call, do I defend JTF or do I let it go? What do you think?

I let it go. Just kidding. I turned my body, looked her dead in the eye, and started to speak, but Juarez Teenager Female spoke up. "Ju know wha Typhoid Maria, you have some nerves to tell me anythings about people like me. You shows me the website you buy jur papers from, okay? So don't go there." Get it girl. Typhoid Maria said, "I'm not even going to dignify that with a response." I didn't stop laughing for much longer than was appropriate.

I guess that'll teach her to mind her own business from now on. She's fuming now, and angrily tapping her foot against the desk we share. I only have this class and next week's class with her and I am sickeningly delighted this happened. JTF presented me with the gift that keeps on giving. No, not herpes, but the knowledge that Typhoid Maria is not just a cunt, but a fucking cheater as well....it's a beautiful thing. It's not just that I know, it's that she knows I know. Maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh.

We watched a short news piece about Tracy Thurman. She was beaten and stabbed by her husband while cops and neighbors watched. She is the reason that domestic violence laws changed in the US. Did anyone know this before the clip? Just me. Did anyone give a shit after the clip? Just me. It did inspire everyone else to tell the class about their personal experiences (or their cousins) with domestic violence. Most of it wreaked of bullshit as I am fairly certain these stories would have made the news. Like the one where Fat Alberto's cousin was getting beat up by this guy, you know, this guy she was married to (her husband?) and she said "You know, enough of this you know" and she cut off his parts. Yes, he said parts. After a very loud LOL outburst by me, I said, "Oh, so you're cousin is Lorena Bobbitt?" Fat Alberto said he doesn't know a Bobbitt but her name is Lorena (say it as Hispanic as possible). Wow, such a coincidence. Mr. Bordertown asked if this happened in Sun City (you know, since he's been a cop for decades) and Fat Alberto replied, "Oh si, but not really here." Still not sure what that means. Maybe it means it didn't really happen at all?

Typhoid Maria told us a tail of her teen mom daughter and the "baby's father, well, my grandchild's father, you know, the boy who took advantage of my daughter." Her daughter was an honor student, into sports and "no matter what all the lying little sluts at her school say, not at all promiscuous." But then this boy came along and "forced her to have sex with him" and now she struggles everyday with being a mom and a student. That's not domestic violence, that's rape. Well, if she's telling the truth. Let's find out shall we?

Me: How did he force her to have sex with him? Did he rape her?
TM: Well, he might as well have.
Me: So was she a willing participant or not? Just because she got pregnant doesn't make it rape.
TM: I never said that Tiffany.
Me: But you said he forced her to have sex with him.
TM: Well, she would have never made that choice on her own. He manipulated her.
Me: So he smooth talked his way into her panties? That isn't rape. That's called game. At least that's what I think the kids are saying.
Me: So he made her "want" to have sex? He turned her on. That's not rape either, that's called foreplay.
TM: You have no idea what I am trying to say.
Me: I think YOU have no idea what you're trying to say.

Mr. Bordertown jumped in and tried to deescalate the situation, but I think he just pissed her off more. "I think what Tiffany is trying to say is that there is a huge difference between domestic violence, dating violence and rape and what you described. If she got pregnant by someone, well, unless it was statutory rape, it isn't really the same as what we are discussing," he offered up. "Excuse me, but just because she was older than him does not mean she is not a victim!" Typhoid Maria said through gritted teeth. Whoa Nelly, no one even knew that tidbit. I had to ask...

Me: So she was older than him?
TM: Not that that is relevant, but yes, she was 18 and he was 14. But he was very cunning.
Me: So you're daughter committed statutory rape? Because anything more than three years difference is statutory rape.
TM: And he should have been charged.
Me: No, SHE should have been charged. She's 4 years older than him. She's the rapist according to the law.
Mr. B: Okay, you don't get to get upset when the validity of your story is questioned. This is a learning environment. You brought up a story, we have a right to discuss what we think about that story. And frankly, if she was 18 and he was 14, his parents should have pressed charges on YOUR daughter. That's the law.
TM: Well, maybe he was 15.
Mr. B: Well maybe this story sounds as believable as Fat Alberto's story. We're moving on.

Zing! We moved on. Sort of. Mr. Bordertown completely ignored a steaming Typhoid Maria and started discussing the difference between domestic violence protocol then and now...with me. I think he tries to include the rest of the class, but when they don't respond or say things that are beyond idiotic, he asks me directly. And since this is my last class with this group, I have no problem being the teacher's pet. Fuck these idiots. If they finish their degree, it'll be a fucking miracle. Or what the Mayans predicted.

Sorry it took so long to get this posted. I started another online class and there is much more work than the last one. Oh, and I'm lazy, so that didn't help.


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