Saturday, March 23, 2013

Head Bussa

I know I am on a blog break, but this shit is too long for Facebook.

Little Bug and I were having a perfectly lovely day today. We went to lunch, got to build a cool wishing well out of Lego's at Toys R Us, we were having a blast....until we dropped in Big Lots.

After finding some super cool silly things we stood in a very long line to pay. I got bumped from behind by a nice enough woman who apologized, no biggie. However, it caused my cart to gently bump a lady in front of me. I was about to apologize, when her husband turned around, slammed the cart into my stomach and yelled "WAIT! JUST WAIT." I simply said "Wow. I was bumped and in turn bumped your wife. I'm sorry, but there is no need to freak out." Even the couple that bumped into me took up for me and told him to calm down and knock off the attitude.

He snapped. I told him to act like an adult, he yelled at me to keep acting like a child. I smiled and prepared to pay for my purchases. Even the cashier was like "WTF?" Of course not one employee thought they should call the manager as this man berated a white woman with a little girl, but whatever. I wanted y Tic Tac Toe shot set.

The line we were in had two cashiers. I was at the first, he was further up at the second one, but stood right next to the card reader of mine. As he stood there, shoulders firmly squared off at me, I smiled bigger and said "Excuse me sir, can you please move aside? Wouldn't want to hit you with my cart."

He lost it. Told me to shut my mouth and even raised his hand like he wanted to backhand me. I said "Wow, you're a man. Act like one and not a jerk." Then his wife lost it and SCREAMED "You don't call my husband a jerk. You better shut up or I'll shut you up!" I took my receipt, grabbed Little Bug's hand and smiled some more. As we walked out they were right behind us, still mouthing off. I told Little Bug, "I'm sorry baby girl. Some people are just garbage." The wife screamed "Yes! Some people ARE!" I put Little Bug in the car, strapped her in, closed the door, and see the wife walking towards my car. Her husband had already gotten in the passenger seat of their dark blue Honda Civic. Probably got a DUI and the wife has to drive him.

Anyway, she stood in the middle of the parking lot row and was holding her purse like a weapon and screaming "HEY BITCH! BITCH!" I looked at her dead on and said "Get in your fucking car." She stepped back, looking shocked. She yelled, "That's some mouth on you bitch!" I took off my sunglasses, set my purse on my trunk, made a small but threatening step and said "Get. In. Your. Fucking. Car. NOW." She ran back to her car, got in, and drove off.

I was a little bummed. She thinks I have a mouth on me, she should have seen the fists I've got. She would have been easy enough to take down. It was her husband I was worried about. He had an inch and a hundred pounds on me. Could have winded him pretty quick. Maybe kneed him in the dick if he got close enough, you know, if I could have found it under all that belly.

All of this could have been avoided had her asshole husband just said "Oh excuse you." I would have politely apologized and we would have been done. But no, he turned around and forcefully struck me intending to cause harm. And in front of my child no less. I know most of you, had you been there, probably would have held my baby so I could beat his ass or just beat his ass yourself if he had struck Little Bug with the cart. Told Hubby about it when I got home. The cop in him came out real quick, but I handled it and talked Hubby down. I couldn't stop LOLing though when I refused to give him the plate number and he said "All I need is a partial."

BTW his wife's ass was so fat she probably didn't feel a thing.


Brittany Collinson said...

I love that..."Some people are garbage." Cute.

Fat Bottomed Girl said...

Little Bug was so funny too. She said "Mommy they need a timeout and to use nice words. They're just not good people."

ChrisDavid said...

Ella's comment is gold.

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