I Won't See You Tonight

Holy hell do I have a blog for you! I was working on my homework for the most of the day and was pretty sure I wouldn't have time for a blog. I even got kind of sad about it. I mean, I barely popped one out yesterday and now I wasn't going to have time or material for today. But low and behold, the powers that be wouldn't stand for that and gave me some great shit. Well, great is relative. I'll understand if you all think I'm a cruel bitch after this one.

It has been one of those days. Every time I sat down to write my research paper (that's due tomorrow and I started today) I have been dragged away by Little Bug. Her Poppa and Grandma took her for a bit and even that wasn't enough of a break with all the household stuff that needed doing. By the time Hubby got home, I was ready to plop down and get to writing. That didn't happen as Hubby and I were discussing what to do about Little Bug's rejection of a scheduled life and all things meal time.

My mother was downstairs with her convincing her to eat (it helps that she made her chicken nuggets) when we heard her start yelling. She sounded frantic as she yelled for us to come grab Little Bug and to hurry. We rushed down the stairs, Hubby practically leaping down them. He scooped her up and Mom explained to me that the cops were outside. Oh, the Douchebag Family must have had another knockdown drag out I thought. But wait, that was not the case.

Next door, where the Vile Filthy Rotten Cunt used to live, I could see over the fence into the backyard. There stood four Sun City police officers attempting to calm the current resident. She shall be called Florence Nightingale because that bitch was always thinking she was sick too. Florence is in her early to mid-forties and at any given time has a litany of diseases. She has asthma and heart issues but still smoke. She has some type of shoulder problem that has caused nodules to grow on the bone. She allegedly had a stroke two weeks ago and was paralyzed. She speaks like she is intentionally skipping words to mimic stroke after effects, but when you catch her off guard, her speech is just like yours or mine. I personally believe she has Munchhausen Syndrome as these illnesses all seem to flare up when her husband is going back to work or her family is about to leave after coming to help her. How she hasn't been committed before this is beyond me.

She came over yesterday during the All-Star game asking about paint. I had no idea what the hell she wanted, but Hubby had done some help for her around her house because she's just so sick and I beckoned him. He grabbed the paint she was asking about and insisted she just keep it and then mumbled something about studying and bolted upstairs. She bitched to my mother about putting all this work into their house (that they rent) and how she was going to demand that the landlord (my mom's friend) pay her back. Mom also then made up some excuse and bolted. They just left me and Little Bug downstairs with her. She tried talking to me about something and I explained very nicely we were watching the game and looking for my Baby Sis because she was there. This prompted 35 awkward minutes of her talking about baseball, Little Bug's clothing, her daughter, her surgery and her cat. I finally said "Well, thanks for coming over, I've got to get Little Bug to bed." She still stayed another 5 minutes.

Mind you, this is her NORMAL behavior. She always keeps you longer than she should when all you did was say "Hello" at the mailbox. She always talks about her wounds and issues. The faking a speech impediment things was new, but other than that, same old Florence.

Flash back to tonight and I saw Florence, surrounded by police, and a knife in her hand. She would switch back and forth from using it to point at the officers and her husband to holding it against her stomach and her thigh like she was going to cut herself. The officers didn't have their weapons drawn, but in the back yard behind hers, I could see two officers with shotguns that I would later find out were loaded with non-lethal. She was screaming and yelling, cussin' up a storm, but with the door shut, I couldn't make out what she was saying. I turned to see if anyone was watching from inside with me, couldn't have been more than 5 seconds, but as soon as I turned back, she was on the ground being cuffed.

In front of the house were a total of 7 cop cars, but there were three more around the corner, ready to leap in to action. I guess suicidal white women bring the cops out. Maybe next time I'll say the Douchebag family is white and suicidal instead of reporting the shit they really do. 

Speaking of the Douchebag family, I bet this was a night they wished everyone had been home for. The pervert old man stood outside watching, probably desperately relieved that it wasn't his house this time. His whore wife actually sent the youngest slut Athena over to ask the cops what was going on. She actually said "You guys aren't here because they called on us right?" I'm not sure if I would have asked a cop that, but guilty is as guilty does. Apparently, Florence has called on the Douchebag family a few times and they had threatened her. You can barely make out his old crusty ass next to the compound door.

This is how they left her for over an hour. They cuffed her and stuck her in the back of the squad car. She was screaming and yelling the whole time. A few times, she flailed around and banged her head against the window. When the sun started to set, they put the spotlight from the car behind hers on so they could see in the window. Great idea right? Leave the suicidal woman all by her lonesome.

One of the officers asked us if we knew her very well and we told him what we knew. He explained that she said no one cares about her, no one helps her, and she was so lonely. He said we need to talk to her more and help her out. I'm all about helping those who need it, but what if she turns the knife on us?! I have a four-year-old child I need to think about here. Besides, we do help her out. We've helped her carry in groceries without being asked, cleaned up her yard, helped paint and Hubby has fed and walked her dogs. We've stood outside for extended periods of time while she chain smokes and goes on and on about her ailments that have apparently baffled the medical community. I've sympathized, offered suggestions, let her dote on Little Bug because she misses her grand kids...what else are we supposed to do?! 

So as the cops are finally leaving, her husband comes over and tells us what happened. He says he was on the phone with her as he was coming home from work and she was talking to him like she was a 12 year old. He said she has "episodes" where she reverts back to her 12 year old self. Um, I'm not a shrink, but wither she was faking it for attention or she reverts to age 12 because that's when something traumatic happened to her. So he rushes home and as he walks in the door, she walks into the kitchen, gets a big ol' knife and holds it to her throat and says she's going to kill herself. He called the police and they somehow got her into the back yard and surrounded her.

Here's where it gets odd. He said she has these episodes and has been suicidal off and on for 3 1/2 years or so. Um, don't you think that's something you should tell your neighbors? If you thought something was fishy when she called you, call us. We're next door and could have gone over to help. My mom even told him that and he said "You could have talked her down" but in a tone that was less regretful and more accusatory. What the fuck were we supposed to do if we didn't know? I'm sorry, let me take time away from my family to baby sit your fucking wife. 

The conversation continued for a few more minutes and he didn't act like a man who's wife just threatened to kill herself. He started talking about how our front tree had died and how theirs was dying. Apparently, there is an epidemic killing 80% of the trees in Texas. Because that's more important. It wasn't even like he was trying to change the subject because he was uncomfortable, he really just didn't give a shit. 

Florence is on a 72-hour hold now, but the officers seemed pretty confident that the doctors would commit her. Here's hoping, because let that woman step over here with a knife near my baby. Lord help her.

The reality of the situation is suicide is no laughing matter. If I really felt like she was suicidal, I would not have written this blog. But I don't think she is. In my years as a LEO, I've met suicidal peeps and people who just wanted the attention. She wants the attention. The doctors were starting to tell her that all her illnesses aren't legit and she needed another attention grabber. Well honey, you got it. 

People In Your Neighborhood

The last time I blogged about neighbors, I told you all about the fucking trash that lives across the street. The Douchebag Family. While that is a code name, it is shockingly similar to their actual name and I feel the need to expand on their awfulness. And their compulsive and twisted need to make as much noise as humanly possible to annoy everyone on our street.

It started yesterday. My Dad and Hubby were outside laying down some sod and the nutjobs were out in full force. Krysstofer (yes that is the real spelling) is the oldest and apparently a reformed pervert. He molested a little boy down the street and his siblings, despite how they tell the story now. He was also the ringleader of all the crazy. Seeing my father and husband beautifying our home must have really enraged him as he rounded up Khevan, Rhyan, Randy, Traicee, and Athena and they all got in their vehicles (probably stolen) and started honking their horns. Some thought they were creative and tried to tap out a tune, some went with the solid blast, but Krysstofer stood on the sidewalk and stared at the men in my family like they were his next rape victim. Dad was unfazed as he's probably losing his hearing, but Hubby stood up and stared right back. Not with the "I'm gonna rape that ass" look, but with a "Try something fucker and you'll meet the business end of my shotgun" kind of look. It must have been effective because he motioned for them to all rally up back within the walls of their compound.

Not the best pic, but getting closer might cause health hazards!

They did it again last night. Honking like mad at 9pm for no reason other than to get a rise from us. Kind of like the rise Kryss gets when he thinks about sex with his siblings. The pic above shows only 3 cars outside, last night, they were all there. The old man/step-dad Paul drives the town car, Nirus (the matriarch) drives a Ford Flex that has a personalized plate that says "Mum of 6". The ex-husband/father of the demons also lives their and drives a Ford F-150. Khevan and Rhyan drive matching Ford Fiesta hatchbacks in silver. Kryss has a red Fiesta. Traicee and her husband each have Focuses (white and blue) and Athena doesn't have a car yet. Randy has a car as well, but since I am 99% sure he works for a Cartel, his car changes often. Add Randy's baby momma's car that is often parked in front of our house, the party guests that are their nightly, and the illegal go-kart they have, it's an average of 13 cars a night. 13 cars that all honked and beeped because this time, they set off the alarms too. 

I was on the phone with my Aunt in the back yard and even she heard it. It was then I began my black ops assualt plan. I could climb up to the neighbors roof next to them in the dead of night and use an air soft gun to puncture their tires. Maybe use a grappling hook to zip-line into their compound wall and just start breaking shit. It's getting to be so fucking annoying. This morning they were at it again. I know they just want a reaction and every fiber of my being is being used to supress the reaction I have.

I'm not sure what's worse though. The horns are bad, but knowing that these kind of people exsist is pretty horrifying. Traicee is probably the worst. She's the oldest daughter and a wise man once told me to never trust a Tracy that spells their name like a stripper (Thanks Bill!). Her children are always running into the road while she stands in the driveway on her phone talking to her pusher or her johns or screaming at her husband. I always manage to glance out the window as her child is inches away from being smashed by a car. I gasp in shock each time and yet, she reacts with the urgancy of molasses. I shouldn't be suprised, this is a creature that has had 2 abortions, smoked and drank during her first pregnancy, was arrested for pot posession during her second pregancy, and gets drunk and passes out in her driveway. Not watching her children as cars go by is relatively minor on her grand-scale of douchiness.

The youngest, Athena, is perhaps the saddest of the bunch. She's 16 and has had more dick in her than a pair of men's briefs. One night, she was getting plowed through and eaten out by two boys in the driveway while her brother Khevan smoked a ciggerette less than five feet away. I wouldn't have known this except they felt the need to yell and blast music at 1 am as it was happening. Cops were called each time, but no one does anything. Granted, Paul and one of his pedophile friends molested her and her siblings from an early age according to Traicee and being the youngest, Athena endured all kinds of abuse. Back in 2003 when my grandmother died and we didn't know the full amount of crazy these people were, Nirus brought Athena over to our house and asked my mom if she could watch her. Without waiting for an answer, she left, and didn't return for her 5 yr old daughter until 4 am. Athena spilled her guts to us about the abuse from old men and her siblings and she was so scared to fall asleep around strangers, she kept beating herself in her head to stay awake. The child has a metal plate in her head (probably from abuse) and she hit it repeatedly because it jolted her to consciouness. How terribly awful is that?

This was supposed to be a Time Warp Tuesday and now it's just a full blown rant. These people bring out the worst in me. Every breath they take is toxic to my being. But nothing makes them disappear. Not police raids, not threats, not city ordanances, it feels as if they can get away with anything. Oh wait, because they do. I have called in plates of people who are parked out front CLEARLY buying drugs, the police take 10 hours to respond...if they come at all. We, along with several neighbors have called in noise complaints, they turn it up louder as the cops are telling them to shut it off. They pointed a gun at me as I walked to the mailbox. Still nothing. 

I'd love to hear some suggestions from you guys, you know, what you would do if they were your neighbors. 

Dirty, Dirty People

I received a call today from Vile, Filthy, Rotten Cunt. VFRC lived next door to us in a house she rented from her mother-in-law for next to nothing. She has four children, each one set to be scarred for life because of her constant screaming and berating and psychological abuse. Her husband is a lard ass who is constantly cheating on her....yes, she is aware of it, and after his most recent indiscretion with her rotten toothed BFF, VFRC decided it was time to move the family to Misery, I mean Missouri. Misery is what the state will now be called since they have arrived.

Would you care for more detail? You would? Well, I should probably show restraint...just fucking kidding.  This has been a blog almost a decade in the making.

I have had the displeasure of knowing VFRC for almost 8 years. When my family first moved to El Paso, she was dating her now husband who lived next door to us with his mother. They were 17 and 18 when it started and before you go all "Awww, high school sweethearts" on me, they were never happy. Ever. I don't care how you re-tell your past on FB, they were always miserable and fighting. She was Mormon with criminal white trash with money racist parents and he was Catholic, entitled, lazy and the typical Mexican son who can do no wrong in his mother's eyes. He was cheating on her then too, but what does she do to get back at him? Gets pregnant.

So they both drop out of college and take off to live with her father in Utah. Over the next 6 years they moved from place to place, created 3 more innocent lives to ruin, mooched off of people, tortured grandparents by using their children as a bargaining chip and eventually came to settle in the same house next door that Jizz's (close enough to his real name) mother let them rent for LESS than what she could have. She could have gotten 1500 a month for it and let them rent it for 950. 950 that was never paid on time if paid at all. A once beautifully landscaped yard became nothing but weeds and cigarette butts and a random sand pit full of dog shit that her children would play in. Walls got covered in food, fecal matter, crayon drawings and chunks missing from a dog that chewed through them. Fairly new appliances were stained and broken with no intent to repair. The tiled floors became satined with a thick layer of scum and the carpet stained with urine and whatever liquid you could imagine. Ants roamed the pantry. VFRC's brother was even moved in (the dog was his) and a giant section of carpet upstairs was ripped up. He smoked as well, adding to the butt collection that was now the front yard.

To say that this place was a glorified trailer park is unkind, there are people in trailer parks that are very clean. Let's just say that comparing the home of VFRC to a dump is probably the most accurate description, except more filth.

So anyway, Hubby, Bug, and I have been biting our tongues for a while now. We would let Bug play with the kids, but she was never allowed inside. Ont he few occasions she would try to go in, some excuse as to why we wouldn't want her in their was made. I sat her down on more than one occasion and had to explain to her that we don't go inside VFRC's house because she wasn't done cleaning it yet. When the kids would try to touch her with their germ covered booger hands, we were right there to swoop her up and away. Countless times Bug would tell VFRC's kids that they had boogers on their face and to have their mommy wipe them, but the boogers would just stay stuck. Their hair was never done, their clothes were stained or knit by VFRC and not weather appropriate. But what really made me hate her was the yelling.

Not one single day passed that VFRC did not scream bloody murder at those children. without exaggeration, VFRC has used every curse word under the sun and screamed it at her kids. She was so loud that you could be on the opposite side of our house with the windows closed and hear her. More than once I had calmly walked next door and asked her if she needed any help with the kids, perhaps a break and she would laugh and say "No, I'm just a yeller." Bug used to ask me if I thought Miss VFRC was going to hit the kids. A three year-old knows that this woman is out of control, but to VFRC it's just because she's a yeller. I have never witnessed hugs, kisses, I Love You's, or any compassion towards her children. If they fell, she would say "That's what you get for not listening" or "Well you should have fucking listened." So damaged are these children that they actually hit each other and whisper mean things to one another...yeah yeah, all kids do that at some point, but to an infant? Yeah, they hit their infant brother. Probably because he is VFRC's new favorite and she stopped paying attention to the older three.



So after the latest round of Jizz cheating, VFRC decides that they need to move to Missouri. No family there, no home lined up, no money to move, but the city of El Paso and the state of Texas are what is causing Jizz to cheat and they need to move. She poor mouthed on FB for a while, talking about how she hoped they got their taxes in soon because it was going to cost a lot of money and then one day it was "We're packing and moving". No good byes (not that I care) but she didn't even let the kids say goodbye to the Bug. I don't know why I thought she would, she doesn't have consideration for anyone, why should my daughter be different?

Here's the best/worst part. They blew out of town like a sandstorm and left Madre (Jizz's mom) with a completely wrecked house. Three truck loads of trash and left behind junk in the garage, bags of shit filled diapers, a can of shitty toilet paper, a 50-gallon fish tank that not only hadn't been cleaned in years, but had 100's of feeder fish that were decaying while still alive and everything previously described. The poor woman had sacrificed a profit for years to provide her grandchildren a place to live and was now left with a property that was destroyed.

For the past week, Hubby, my mother, and I have been cleaning, fixing, hauling, and painting everything that needs it. We've been there when VFRC's brothers came over and dished all the dirt they had on her to Madre trying to get Madre to let them move in (Yes, the brothers that destroyed parts of the house). We were there when VFRC called to cuss out Madre for holding a yard sale to 1) get rid of the shit left behind and 2) recoup some of the cost of the damage. VFRC had the nerve to demand that Madre not sell the stuff because it was theirs. Really? You left in a pile of trash. What the fuck. Did I mention I had to clean an empty the fish tank? That's a separate blog in itself.

So today, after a full week of biting my tongue, I get a phone call from VFRC. I was at a friends house with no signal so the call dropped. I texted her to let her know that I had a bad signal and asked her what she needed. She said never mind and I left it at that. After a minor car accident....yeah, my fault, I headed home and my momma and Madre told me she had tried to call my momma too. They couldn't call Madre because they turned off her phone, so they tried us. I then texted her to see if she needed something again. This is a word for word text convo.

ME: I am home and have signal now. Do you need to talk?

VFRC: Is jizzs moms car there?

ME: Yeah

VFRC: Can u go over and ask her for the at&t internet router, and then can u possibly drop it off at ups monday? His moms being a bitch and wont do anything to help us, please let me know if she gave the router or not, its a black box looking thing with at&t on it

ME: I'm actually over here right now. We've been cleaning and painting and repairing for the past week to help her out and she's been nothing close to a bitch. She has a new phone now, you have Jizz call her and maybe start out with an apology. I saw how you left this house, you should be ashamed.

VFRC: She sold things i asked her not and were family airlooms and she has been nothing but rude to us, i had a maid scheduled to come and clean it up after we left, but when she started being a bitch to me, i cancelled the maid. i left it knowing a maid was coming to clean. Can u please ask her for the router and if anything just leave it outside the front door and ill have my friend come get it

ME: Would the maid haul off trash and paint and repair? It has taken 10 people five days and we aren't anywhere close to cleaning and repairing the filth left behind. As far as the things you left behind, we're the soiled diapers the HEIRLOOMS you speak of? What about the shitty toilet paper can? Maybe the cigarette butts? Is she supposed to store your garbage for free?
Have your husband contact Madre if he needs something. I am not your pawn. You should be ashamed, if that's even an emotion you can feel

VFRC: Yes the maid was going to clean up garbage, and cig butts, and the toilet paper was in a trash can and probably from texy, and the house was not that bad. Wow what a friend ur being. And we would talk to her if one shed stop hanging up on us and just talk and two not be a bitch back, all we asked was for her to put the router out front for a friend to come get

ME: VFRC, then your view of what "that bad" is is skewed. The fish tank hadn't been cleaned probably ever, there was filth and trash in every room, the carpet is destroyed, the walls covered in grime and crayon, the yard is destroyed, the toilet was rusted and stained. Also, do not send your friends husband down here again. (He came down trying to intimidate Madre)

VFRC: That who is suppose to pick up the router, he is suppose to get it for us. My brother is fixing the carpet if Madre would let him and he offered to paint and help repair too but she told him to fuck off, she has had many of my brothers offer to help and she has turned em down

ME: Mom was here for all of that and that didn't happen. The second you left town your brothers were ratting you out to her and begging for her to let them stay here.

VFRC: Thats not what his mom said to jizz

ME: Well Jizz is lying to you. Wouldn't be the first time.

VFRC: Well jizzs mom is a bitch and ive known it since i married jizz and she has never liked me, so i guess she just has to deal with that fucking house, she gets what comes to her and no jizz aint lying

ME: This time?

VFRC: This time what?

ME: His isn't lying this time?

VFRC: No hes not thank you very much

ME: You don't want to deal with the issues in your crappy marriage so you lash out at a woman who has done nothing but help you.

VFRC: Well just have her put the router on the outside

ME: No. I'm not your messaging service and you can't order me around.

VFRC: Really, she hasnt helped us worth shit, we maid her mortgage, her phone bill, and kept her house from being forclosed, she hasnt helped worth shit.
Well we don't have her number so we cant contact her, and im not ordering you to do anything, i asked not ordered

ME: You paid 950 if you FELT like it and her mortgage is way more than that. Be delusional VFRC. Think you were a good tenant, think you aren't filthy, think you aren't a shitty fucking mom. You pay rent because that's what you do when you live in someone else's house. You can't reach her because you turned off her phone.

VFRC: Oh now im a shitty mom? Really?

ME: You scream at those kids like they are trash, you smoke and you breast feed, you let them walk around with dirt and gross things on their clothes and faces, you're son had a bronchial infection and you STILL smoked. You let them live in filth and treat T (the oldest) as if she was created to take care of the others so you can knit.
Being a good parent is more than cake and cookies and footies, it's love and compassion and kindness and you don't have any of that. But why would you? Self centered sociopaths don't.

VFRC: Oh really? Nice to see ur perseptice of my family. Nice, thank you for your opinion, i appreciate it.

ME: Oh it's much worse than that and you know it. You have a compulsive cheater as a husband who takes no responsibility for his actions. He fucking blamed you not showing him attention for cheating? What kind of man is that? He calls you fat but he is easily 300 lbs and he's a grown man with kids who still smokes pot. He said he's sorry because if he divorced him, he would be poorer than you already are. I'm sure someone told you at some point that you deserved better than this, but you don't. You deserve every misery that comes your way. Now we're done.


Okay, lengthy and probably mean (of me) but I lost it. The second she started talking bad about Madre, I said fuck it, game on. She deleted me on FB, thank God, and even though I went at her with the e brake on, I'm sure she's either trying not to kill herself or screaming at her kids/husband. And while I won't touch on how many times CPS has been contacted about her in Texas, I can assure you I will continue calling in Missouri when I get their address from Madre. She has no one that knows her there, noone to answer to if she goes to far. She's going to home school them too, bitch can't spell but she can home school.

Setting my bitterness and anger aside, please pray for those four kids. They're going to need it.

Who Do You Think You Are?

This blog is TWO weeks in the making. Actually, ten years in the making, but I meant to write this one two weeks ago. I would tell you what happened in school two Thursdays ago, but it's what happened when I got home from school two Thursdays ago that is really the spotlight.

Class was actually pretty blog worthy too. My fucking filthy, fat and lazy teammate Tejas Mo didn't do his portion of our assignment and gave me 14 different conflicting excuses why which culminated in me telling him how fucking lazy and stupid he is and our instructor giving him zero credit. I had a whole blog written on it in my head to type out when I got home (our instructor has a no comp policy when others are presenting) but something magical happened when I pulled in the driveway.

Let me back it up a bit. The scum of the earth live across the street from us. They have since we moved to Texas 10 years ago. Every neighbor on the block came over and warned us of all there crazy experiences with this family and told us to be careful. The six children used to have knock down drag out fights in the front yard, screaming matches between the mom and ex-husband, and one time the oldest daughter ran away once to our house and told us all about how all of the children had been molested and sodomized by the step-dad and his friend (aged 60+ at the time) and how she hated her crazy mom so much. My mother called the cops, like you're supposed to, but the girl recanted and said we made the whole thing up. One time, no shit, I witnessed the oldest daughter giving the old man step dad a lap dance in the drive way. Granted, it took home an average of ten min to get from his car to the front door so maybe she was providing motivation.

Anyway, before I had left for the Air Force, the cops had been to that house probably 100+ times on anything from curfew violations, noise, fighting, restraining orders (the girl had a crazy bf who is now the father of her child...and the three she aborted before that) and abuse charges. While I was away, my parents said it was even worse. They built a second story to their home ad moved even more people in. On any given night, there are 6-11 cars parked out front. Almost every night, they blast music until the wee hours and her now 15 year old youngest daughter gets drunk and high in the front yard with her siblings and friends.

We've called the cops a million times. So has most of the neighborhood. However, no one ever leaves a name out of fear of retaliation. They actually called the health department on our cats, saying that we were feeding strays. Our chipped, fixed, vaccinated and registered cats. I was tempted to cut them myself for one, using the law to attempt revenge, and two, for fucking with my animals, but I didn't. I told myself that no scheme I could dream up would do to them what karma would. Boy oh boy was I right.

The Saturday before Halloween they threw a party. No surprise. These are the same people that put a bouncy castle in their driveway on a Tuesday for no reason. So 11pm hit and I got everyone in our house plus some neighbors to call in the noise violation, curfew violations and to also mention the strong smell of pot. About 1230 am or 1 am the cops show up. I meet them outside before they go over there and I lay it on thick. I mean truly Oscar worthy if I do say so myself. I tell them that these people are just so scary and that they have made every ones life hell. I tell them the music keeps everyone up (they actually turned it up more while I was talking to the cops). I told them that my poor 3 year old baby girl couldn't sleep because her window faces them (all while looking at the female cop...she was sooo on my side after that). I told them how we were sick of living in fear that our cars would be vandalized or that beer bottles would be smashed in the street. I look the male cop straight in his eyes and said "I'm just so grateful that EPPD has officers like you that truly care". It was amazing.

They told me to go inside so the Douchbag family wouldn't see me and the male said "Ma'am, you shouldn't have to live in fear. We'll handle this." So what if it was said to my breasts....whatever works. So they went over. It took almost 10 min for someone to come to the door. I couldn't hear anything, but the crazy mom tried to slam the door in the male officers face. He kept it open with a stiff arm and it looked pretty heated. The female officer put her hand on her weapon a few times. I was hoping for a shoot out, but it ended in a citation. The Douchebags went back inside, but the officers stuck around and took down the plate of every car there....

One plate in particular was important. The Old Man step dad's. Little did we know, Paul H. Flynn, 78, of El Paso, Texas, had a warrant out for his arrest. We learned of this two Wednesdays ago when EP County Sheriff's, EPPD SWAT and ICE agents raided their house. I mean kickin' down doors, scaling walls and the whole nine yards. Evidence was seized, weapons removed and a kindly SWAT guy let us know to BOLO for Mr. Flynn. The warrant was for Felony Theft less than 100,000 but greater than 20,000....but three agencies don't kick in your damn door for theft. Apparently he was wanted for some other stuff they haven't been able to prove yet.

So the following night, I get home from class and I am flabbergasted to see his Lincoln with it's handicapped plate (he uses a cane and has a mean hunchback) sitting boldly in their driveway. I call 911 as instructed by the police to do so and tell them that he is there. How fucking stupid are you to go back there? I mean shit, they raided your house, you don't think they'll come back????

EPPD sorta kinda fucked this one up. Four units descended on the house in a staggered formation, but the oldest daughter was going to her car as they did. She ran back inside (to warn everyone) and then came back out with her bat shit mother and they told the cops that he escaped out the back door and hopped a rock wall into the storm ditch behind their house. Really. A 78-year-old man with a cane hopped a 8 foot high rock wall and escaped. I thought "Surely they can't believe this, they're gonna check the house" but no. Didn't happen. 3 of the 4 officers went into the gas line, under the fence, and into the storm ditch to search. They came back out 15 min later and took off. We saw them driving in the subdivision behind ours with spotlights. Every 5 to 10 min we would see a patrol car drive down our street. Finally, after an hour or two the old man slowly....and I mean with steps that seemed eternally slow...hobbles out to his car with his 32 year junior wife following.

We called 911 to inform them that not only had the officers been duped, he was trying to flee again. Oh, did I fail to mention we were sitting in our neighbors driveway with hot cocoa and popcorn? No joke. Nothing is better than witnessing Karma at work first hand. Anyway, the cops finally apprehended him at his OTHER house a few blocks away. He was booked and released on a bond that they put their house up as collateral for.

I had a brief, yet very entertaining verbal altercation with one of the sons that he raped the next day as well. Yes, I am going to hell, but as he told me to go suck off my father, I had no choice but to reply "Oh sorry, I'm not into that. I hear you really liked getting ass raped by the felon though. Your sister told us all about it. Did he make you call him daddy?" Even Hubby informed me I was gonna burn for that one. Worth it I think. All he could reply with was that I was a whore and a bitch and fucking stupid. He drove off spastically while flipping me off and making cock sucking motions to which I said "I hear you are good at that!" and then a "God Bless" for good measure.

It's been all quiet on the western front since then. Well, someone broke a beer bottle in front of our car that was parked on the street last night. The glass was politely swept up and placed in their driveway. I'm hoping they are actually stupid enough to try something. I would love for him to get his bail revoked or for him to flee and they lose the house. I am tempted to stage Operation Hip Replacement where I kidnap the old man and prevent him from making his court date. Too much?

Anyway, stand by for blog #2 of the night. It's back to school.