I've Been Everywhere

I really have. And now I am smack dab in Middle of Nowhere, Texas...better known as Kitty Kat, Texas. Don't get me wrong, aside from the herd of bison that don't think I'm good enough for my husband, it is a great place. Most people are very friendly, genuine, and I know I can count on them for anything.

Anything except having a Walmart, Target, drug store, Starbucks, etc. in their back yard. If they did, I would never leave this place. But alas, they do not and I must troll the Internet for the things I require...or just really want.

Starting with: An at home pedicure. You see, there is no nail salon, no comfy chair that massages my lower lumbar as I listen to bitchy Koreans talk about how dry my feet are. I miss those angry little Asians. *tear* I've had to take matters into my own hands...

This thing is a lifesaver. No foot soaking needed and I don't have to be referred to as white girl. Time saver and less racist.

Have I mentioned that Kitty Kat, Texas is dry? As in booze is not sold in this town village rest stop that I reside in. I could drive 17 miles to the county seat and buy beer at the gas station, but no liquor or wine. BUT (!) it's almost like Amazon.com knew that this would happen and prepared in advance. I give to you Amazon Wine!

I have Amazon Prime and my shipping is free and quick. Wine shall be mine!

Now, I know what you all y'all are thinkin', that there girl needs a wine rack to store all that there wine she's gonna be orderin'. Yep. Already ahead of you. And after trolling Amazon for hours...okay, like 15 minutes, I found this one that hold 9 bottles of manna from heaven.

Wall mounted means I don't have to try to find space for it. And though that price says $30.19, I got it for free 99, because Baby Sis decided I needed a house warming gift. She kind of doesn't suck.

Now, I'm not a super lush...but I do know where a drive-thru liquor store is about 45 minutes away. 

Moving on. You know what else the country has? Bugs. Every single type of bug imaginable. I would not be shocked if a Camel Spider popped its head out my kitchen cabinet just to say "Hey!" Actually, Hubby is super OCD about cleaning and bug extermination, so finding a bug in the house would actually surprise me, but if he was chillin' on my front porch with a sweet tea, I would wave back. Little bug hates bugs as well, and I think its time to buy stock in OFF.

You may be thinking, "Wow, she has options to choose from!" You'd be wrong. I use all of these. Yes, at the same time. Okay, I'm kidding. No, I am actually not.

The other night, Hubby was out patrolling the mean streets of Briscoe County. Little Bug and I were just about to go to sleep, when we heard the unmistakable sound of the glass door opening, followed by someone trying to open the front door. Little Bug said, "Daddy's home!" and I went into the living room to greet him. But NO, I did not see his head through the windows at the top of the door. Someone was still trying to open the door though, so I turned right around and went to retrieve my baby. Not Little Bug, my other baby.

Beretta PX4 Storm Subcompact 9mm. And yes those are hollow points. Mine is loaded with them as well. Come in my house, I dare you.

EXCEPT my baby was not in its usual spot. I then grabbed my other baby, locked us in my bedroom and called Hubby. He was in the county seat, but sent the Sheriff and a state trooper to come right over and check the surrounding area. They found nothing but footprints likely belonging to the heathen children that live behind us. I'm actually happy that Hubby had my gun, because I would have probably fired. 

Which brings me to the next thing you need in the country. Security lights. And you can bet your ass that I bought one that will blind ya.

Worth every penny. Country people seem to be afraid of lights. I think that's why they don't have street lights, stop lights, or even electricity. I kid, I kid. Only the meth trailers are electricity free.

There is so much more stuff I have Amazon'd since our arrival, but I've got to save something for next week. That isn't a promise to actually write next week, but I might think about it. And since this should have been up yesterday before my iPhone Blogger app ate it, I'll have Tuesday's Thrashing up soon too!

Should've Said No

I am perfectly aware that the title of this blog is a Taylor Swift song. I don't hate all of her music, I just think she's a crazy person.

Moving on. Today is a true Must Have Monday (finally)! Let's get to it, shall we?

I finally have convinced my Little Bug that she doesn't have to be a vampire for Halloween. She had this whole bit about how Halloween is supposed to be "scary Halloween" and since Hubby is going to be Michael Meyers, she had to be something scary. I wanted to kill HIM because I just want one more year of pretty princesses. We had a family chat (after weeks of her telling me she wants to be a princess and him a vampire) about it and she said "Halloween doesn't have to just be scary. I want to be Merida!" YES! I win! Um, I mean, it wasn't a competition....but I win! So here's the costume in all of it's awesomeness!

The whole set can be found HERE! Although, I would hate to think you copied my kid...lol 

 Little Bug also got a new bed...or is getting one. Her toddler bed was pretty kewl (say it like Cartman, just do it) and it matched all the other Tinkerbell shiz in her room. But she decided that jumping on the toddler bed was way better than sleeping on it. It died. Her room is too small for a double, at least if we want her to have play room, so I found this twin bed (on sale!) at Walmart.com:

It matches her dresser and got great reviews. <3 it!

This also means she needs a new bedding set. Found that too!

Target has this Circo Love n Nature Quilt set for only $69 and it totally matches the Pinterest crafts I made for her wall!

Oh wow, this got a little Little Bug centered. On to some shit you might really buy. I broke down and bought a Keurig. My life is forever changed. 

This is the B70 Platinum Brewing System. Mine came with 60 k-cups and a reusable one at Costco for just $149. You can also find it on Amazon for $159 in case Costco is out-of-stock.

Here are some of my fave K-cups:

Coconut Mocha with a little milk and sugar over ice is DEVINE!

Last one for the day, I can only "shop" so much before I have to pick Little Bug up from school. Besides, I get enough boxes from online stuff, I keep this up and it'll be every damn day! And this one is super cheap...

Abby over at My Yellow Sandbox featured this tip from Melissa at Lulu & Sweet Pea {a day in the life} and I am fairly positive my life has been changed. I will probably do a before and after post about it. 

All you do is mix 3 parts water and 1 part Apple Cider Vinegar, put it on a cotton round, and wipe your face. It's replaced my toner and my skin is feeling great and my redness and zits have started to go away and it's only been 2 days!

Okay peeps, I've got a BMT (Basic Military Training) Time warp for you tomorrow at the request of my Baby Sis. I've started it, but it is taking me FOREVER. Do you know how much hilarious shit goes down in six weeks with that many chicks? A. LOT. I told her I would do it though and that was almost two weeks ago...perhaps I should've said no...see, I did work it in there.

57 Channels (And Nothin' On)

The Olympics are finally over and though I am going to miss my daily cheering for the good ol' USA, I am also super pumped. Why you ask? Because fall TV is set to start back up! My Hulu queue will be overflowing in now time (because I never watch anything live). So today's Must Have is dedicated to my fall TV line-up. I'll keep it strictly network this week.

Monday

The Voice is on NBC from 8-10 pm. Returns: September 10

I'm not really a big fan of reality/game shows, but there is something about watching Xtina act like a huge cunt on national television that makes me tune in.

Gossip Girl is on the CW at 9 pm. Returns: October 8

Honestly, this is one of those shows that I watch when nothing else appears in my Hulu queue and I have some time to kill. However, this will be the first year I actually tune in for the season premiere. I mean come on, I have see how Chuck's bet turns out!

Tuesday

NCIS is on CBS at 8 pm. Returns: September 25

Now that Glee has moved nights (more on that later), I can finally watch NCIS. Those reruns on USA have gotten me hooked. And Gibbs is hot.

Go On is at 9 pm on NBC. Starts: September 11

You can read my mini-review here, or you can avoid giving me more page views and just take my word for it...now.

The New Normal is at 9:30 pm on NBC. Starts: September 11

All I have seen is the few (and very funny) Olympic tie-in promos for this show but I am willing to give it a try. I could do without the sociopath NeNe Leaks, but for now, she isn't a deterrent.

Parenthood is also on NBC and rounds out the night at 10 pm. Returns: September 11

I am so happy this show did not get cancelled. It's one of my faves and I hope it gets a full season.

Wednesday

Law & Order: SVU is at 10 pm on NBC. Returns: September 26

SVU has the distinct honor of being my only Wednesday show. The show is still amazing after 13 or 14 years and the cliffhanger has me nervously awaiting the premiere!

Thursday

30 Rock, Up All Night, and The Office are at 8, 8:30, and 9 om respectively on NBC.

30 Rock returns October 4, Up All Night & The Office return September 20

I'm in class on Thursday, so all of my Thursday shows get watched during the weekend via Hulu. These three are not to be missed and bring the funny every episode.

Grey's Anatomy is at 9 pm on ABC. Returns: September 27

In what was probably the best friggin' cliffhanger in the shows history, the killed Lexie. Yeah, she;s dead. And they haven't been rescued from the plane crash yet. I can't even imagine how f'ed my nails are going to be when it starts back up!

Glee is now at 9 pm on Thursday on Fox. Returns: August 23

I want to say "Fuck you Ryan Murphy! How dare you break up Rachel and Finn!" I may have actually said it, but alas, I am now looking forward to what they're gonna do this season. 

Friday

Whitney survived last years cuts and is now on Friday at 8 pm on NBC. Returns: October 19

I really only watch for Chris D'Elia, he's all sorts of funny and yummy. I guess Whitney Cummings is pretty funny too, but really, I watch for the man.

Fringe starts it's final season at 9 pm on Fox. Returns: September 28

I'm really sad that this will be Fringe's final season because it filled my X-Files void. I know it'll be amazing and Joshua Jackson got much hotter after Dawson's Creek.

Saturday

Sunday

Once Upon A Time starts at 8 pm on ABC. Returns: September 30

I. Love. This. Show. Rumpestiltskin is my favorite character. He's evil with a British accent. Don't act like my love for the bad guy surprises you.

Revenge airs at 9 pm on ABC. Returns: September 30

One of the best (and most interesting) new shows last season got me totally hooked. This season, they nabbed Jennifer Jason Leigh to play Emily's mom. It's going to be totes fantastic.

So there you have it, my network TV picks for the fall. What will you be watching this fall?

No Phone

Lately, I have been hating my iPhone 4 with a passion. Set aside that I don't have Siri to boss around and I am still left with a phone that has unexplained glitches for days at a time. I went to the Apple store to have them explained and all I got was some bullshit about how if 2 or more errors happen at the same time yada yada yada. All I know is that every time a new iPhone is about to be released, my old one gets a little wonky. Steve Jobs is flippin' some mass kill switch from the grave that forces us (or mostly me) to upgrade. September cannot come soon enough.

To top off my iPhone woes, Hubby's iPhone's power switch was jammed and he had to take it into Best Buy for a replacement. We have Black Tie Coverage and all he has to do is take his phone in and they give him a new one, but it takes 2-3 business days as they ship them in. Until then (hopefully Wednesday), he is stuck with this antique Samsung that's quite hilarious. Actually, it's somewhat new and modern, but light years behind the almighty Apple wunderkind. 

His lack of awesome apps to assist him with, well, everything, has made me cherish my POS 4 a bit more. It's stopped it's ridiculous reboot cycle and though I will be the first in line when the 5 is released in September, I thought I would take the opportunity this Monday to show you my Must Have Apps.

In no particular order, these are my top 10/most used apps that I cannot live with out (or just don't want to).

Spotify

Totally awesome music app. For only $7.99 a month, I get all the frigging music I want and it's available offline (who ever goes offline?). It has radio, play lists and you can share shit with your friends. I swear by it. If the price seems to steep, I reasoned it with myself this way: I spent way more than that each month on iTunes.

Google

Hubby prefers to Google everything via Safari, but I loves me my google app. It has everything in one. It even keeps me logged into my Gmail and remembers shit I've searched for. Anything I use google for is accessible here. From Blogger to translate to my calenders. Saves me from having to download all the separate apps.

TWC Max

The Weather Channel Max is the best weather app out there. It gives detailed weather info and an hour-by-hour breakdown. Don't settle for the weather app that comes with the phone. Get this one!

Instagram

I had Instagram before it was available on Android and way before it was cool. Okay, I'm done being a hipster. Instagram is by far the coolest filter/social media app. Just trust me and get it, because I am not putting up screen shots of all it's cool features because then I would be showing you pics of my friends and I don't have their permission. You get a shot of my kindle. Deal with it.

Pinterest

Pinterest is a virtual pin board where everything amazing in the world comes together. It's also mobile and prevents me from getting much done.

Drop 7

This is my favorite busy game. It's pretty entertaining once you get the hang of it and is my go to "try to exhaust my brain" app when I can't sleep. I'd explain the way it works but that takes to much time and effort.

Brave Temple Run

Who plays Temple Run? I did...until I found the Disney Brave version! It has everything the original has but with targets you have to shoot arrows at! Stop bragging about your plain old Temple Run high score and get on my bad ass level.

TMZ

I have real news apps, but TMZ is my celebrity news app. And they're always right and have the best sources. For those of you who like that sort of thing, this is the app to get.

Netflix

Netflix mobile is actually easier to use than the website. And as you can see, I am seriously reliving my teenage years with some melodramatic Dawson's Creek. Joey is still a whiny bitch, Dawson is still a pussy, Jen is still the coolest chick ever and Pacey, well, I'd still hit that.

Fandango 
Never wait in line at the movies again. Seriously, for a small convenience fee per purchase, you can buy your tickets online and print them out at the kiosk at the theater. There is NEVER a line at our theater kiosk, probably because Sun Citians aren't that bright.

Pimp Your Screen
Last but not least (and also a bonus #11) is Pimp Your Screen. It allows you to customize your home screen and lock screen and add all sorts of cute/cool features. Here is my page 2 so you can see the folder outlines.

What apps are my fellow iPhoner's rockin'? I'd love to add to my daily faves. Let me know in the comments!